Reckoning
by The Prime Minister
Summary: The fourth story in the Slayers cycle. Can be read after "Penance" or "Pursuit of Merit". This story deals with Lina, Gourry, and Xellos after the events of their respective fics, and Filia and Val finally make appearances.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: Insert usual disclaimer stuff here. This is the sequel to Penance and Pursuit of Merit.

Again, I went back and chopped this fic up into chapters. If you want to read the thing straight through, with no chapter divisions, just head on over to my site, Because I chopped it up, some of the chapter transitions may be strange. Sorry about that.

Reviews are always welcome and encouraged!

* * *

Reckoning  
by the Prime Minister

He materialized on the shore of the island, listening to the waves lap the bleached sand behind him. The wind stirred his heavy dark hair and his eyes traveled to the mouth of the cave set in the rock. The sounds and smells of the island were much sharper than they had been earlier in the day, but there was a strange hollowness in his chest, and he recognized it as absence of feeling. No, that wasn't true- the feelings were still there, and they shouldn't have been. From when he was originally created until the moment his mistress turned him into a human, he had felt nothing, really. There had been moments of annoyance and discomfort, sometimes even physical or astral pain, or perhaps even contentment or mild pleasure at times. All of those emotions, however, had been lukewarm and transitional. Most of the time he had felt nothing at all.

That absence of emotion was far different than what he experienced as a human. He had felt so much so intently. He had experienced true fear, despair, joy, and perhaps even love. Love. The term "making love" actually meant something now. Before, when he had experimented with his physical body, it had meant nothing, and felt mildly pleasurable, nothing more, nothing less. As a Monster he was innately asexual and while was capable of becoming aroused, could really have cared less about joining his body with another. His few trysts were nothing when juxtaposed with what he had experienced with Lina. The awe he had felt when joining with her, their bodies becoming one as they traveled the winds of ecstasy together, had blown his mind. As a Monster he had derived the greatest of pleasure from the pain and suffering of human emotions, but such pleasure paled in comparison to what he had felt with Lina. It wasn't just their lovemaking, either. Just being around her, seeing her smile, or watching her sleep was enough to send his heart soaring. Looking down, he fingered the ring on the chain around his neck, watching the metal glint dully in the setting sun. It was gone, all of it, and he wasn't sure what to feel. That he felt at all alarmed him, but he was not particularly surprised. His mistress had wired him a bit differently from typical Monsters to begin with, most likely so he could better blend in with the human world and serve her purposes. Of all the Dark Lords, Greater Beast Xellas Metallium had always had the most interest in the lives of the humans that dotted the planet.

He had to go into the cave and see her. She had summoned him and was waiting. Something akin to anger slowly began to burn in the pit of his stomach as he glared at the opening of the cave. He hooked his collar with a finger and pulled it aside, dropping the ring down the front of his shirt. It wasn't that he minded serving Beastmaster, that wasn't it at all. He was always loyal to her and always would be. She was his creator, after all, and he was programmed to serve. However, as a human he had had choices and free will, and he found he was missing them. It was almost worth losing his immortality and nearly all of his power for the ability to choose his own life and fate. Xellas afforded him a certain amount of freedom and allowed him to carry out her orders in a method of his choosing, but he was still forced to follow orders. He found the prospect chafed him and he did not want to go into that cave. To return to his mistress would show that he accepted all that had happened and was ready to continue along his own path, and neither was actually the case. What he wanted was to return to Lina and try desperately to explain to her what had happened.

When it came right down to it, the whole thing must have been a plan by Beastmaster. Once he had made the mistake of unwittingly helping Lina destroy Orkalym and Anemony, his mistress must have devised her plan. His entire penance had been a farce, and that made him angry. She had caused him such pain by turning him into a human, and then had betrayed him a second time by turning him back into a Monster. Now he had the sneaking suspicion that he would never be a pure Monster again. He had felt too deeply as a person, and imagined that a bit of a human soul had mingled with his original one. Curse his mistress, curse her straight to hell.

Not that Lina had been wonderful to him, either. She was always yelling and was awfully sloppy, nor had she told him the truth. Her betrayals were lies of omission, and it hurt him that she had not deemed him worthy to know what was going on. She had intentionally kept the purpose of her research from him, as if that did any good. He was too sharp for her to be able to hide it for long, and he was absolutely certain he had divined her motives. He supposed he could accept that she wouldn't tell him the whole truth about that subject. He probably wouldn't have told her, if the situation was reversed. Still, they both had been sleeping with the enemy, so to speak. Their races were enemies of sorts, and they had most likely bent many rules by becoming lovers, wether he was human or not. There was also that business with his illness. She had lied to him outright on that one, telling him it was the flu when it was actually a parasite. Tiny organisms had infected him, something the ancient texts described as "worms". Of course, the parasites didn't actually look like worms until the final stages, when they burrowed out of the host's corpse and spawned a plethora of cysts, which were easily mistaken for pollen or spores. Once the cysts were breathed it, the tiny things must have traveled through the capillaries of his lungs, finally coming to rest in his somach and beginning their maturation there. He had nearly died from the episode. Flu, indeed.

_Xellos_, the voice sounded inside his head, and he clenched his jaw. It seemed as if there was no one he could truly trust. Then again, both Xellas and Lina probably had their reasons for lying to him. He just needed to figure out what they were. Well, he could do something about that right now, he realized, and teleported to his mistress' throne room.

The strange darkness of the throne room surrounded him as he materialized, wondering why he, as a Monster, was even concerned with trust. As a Monster, he couldn't be trusted for anything other than destroying the world. He stepped forward, face cold and hard, aware of the lesser Monsters cowering in the shadows at he perimeter of the room. Normally it would have made him smile. Before the whole human debacle, he had always enjoying picking one or two of them from the crowd and torturing them for a while. Oh yes, Xellas' General Priest had immensely relished being cruel to his underlings. His cruelty was legendary, even for a Monster. He could hear whispers among the lesser Monsters, however, and was certain they had enjoyed seeing him so punished. Well, he would ferret those underlings out later and teach them new respect. After his stint as a human he felt he was a master of pain.

His cold amethyst eyes rested upon the figure seated on the throne and he knelt, bowing his head. "Mistress," he murmured, voice silky as it wound through the hollow expanse of the room.

"Rise, Xellos," the Greater Beast said, gesturing with a hand. "Welcome back. I trust your mission was successful?"

Something inside him tensed at her use of the word "mission". Damn her, she had no conception at all of what she had put him through. Funny, such thoughts had never entered his head before. Previous to being a human, he had never thought twice about her using him as a mere tool. It seemed he was different now than both human and Monster, some twisted creature caught between the two. He rose slowly and smoothly, meeting her golden eyes as she steepled her fingers. "Well?" she urged, raising a fine, blonde eyebrow.

Xellos nodded. "Which mission would that be, Mistress?" he asked, and there was a soft rustling in the cavernous hall behind him. With a curt bow to his mistress, he turned and summoned power, turning them all to stone. The lesser Monster's cries of agony filled the room for several long moments, and the ones that tried to crawl away he destroyed entirely. He faced his mistress again and bowed. "Pardon me," he said humbly.

"You really must try to refrain from killing the underlings, Xellos," she said with a sigh. "We Monsters are weak enough as it is."

"They are little more than beasts, my lady, and I felt our discussion should be held in private. I will release the ones who did not try to flee after our conversation."

Xellas tapped a tanned cheek with her finger, nodding slowly. "Very well. About your mission. . ."

"And what mission are you talking about in particular, Mistress?" Xellos asked pointedly, irrational anger building up inside him. "The one where I was condemned as a human, and just as I was becoming used to it was torn away once again? The one where I lived in pain or humiliation?"

Xellas raised her eyebrows and leaned back onto her stone throne. "This is very uncharacteristic of you," she said slowly. "In fact, it is very un-Monsterly. You were always the picture of what a perfect Monster should be."

Xellos quivered with anger and indignation, all his feelings edged with fear. He didn't understand how he was still able to feel such things, and so violently. As a Monster he should feel nothing. "I beg your pardon," he replied, clenching his fists to keep them from shaking. "The transitions were difficult, to say the least."

"Very well. I suppose you are ready to continue in a rational manner, then?"

"Yes, my lady."

"I shall answer your question. Of course you were supposed to be punished for your actions. The remaining Dark Lords were clamoring for your head. Although I did not want to, my hand was forced. Luckily, they settled for turning you into a human instead of having you destroyed. I argued that with your loss, our race would suffer a serious blow."

"I understand."

Xellas' face softened for a moment, and he thought she looked at him with something very close to sadness. She really didn't want to have done such a thing to him. Odd. . .perhaps his mistress really was slightly different than the other monsters. That would explain her success. She, after all, had lost the least number of minions during the War of the Monster's fall. "And," she continued, "as long as you were being temporarily turned into a human, I figured it wouldn't hurt to do a little reconaissance. The mother of all things smiled upon us the day Lina Inverse happened upon you."

"You didn't plan on that, then."

Xellas inclined her head. "I had intended to find a way to have you seek her out. I knew she was up to something, but couldn't tell what. She already trusted you, to a certain degree, and I thought she would be completely taken in by a human version of you."

"I see."

"But then you were lost to us for quite some time. All through the winter we searched for you, but you were nowhere to be found. Then we saw you on the move, and it was unclear whether or not you had learned anything from the Inverse girl. Dolphin came to me and asked where you were. I assumed one of Anemony's underlings would be after your head, and unless you and the girl were attacked, we would never learn what she was up to. I told Dolphin where you could be found. You obviously survived the attack, but then we lost track of you again. After the attack, when Dolphin learned that her minion had failed, the Dark Lords decided to rescind your punishment. I found you and restored the power I had taken away. I am pleased that you have been returned to me."

Xellos looked at his mistress for long moments, attempting to wade through the swirling of his emotions. Anger at Xellas was mixed with relief that she had not intended to hurt him. "What would you know?" he asked calmly, expression cool.

"What is Lina Inverse up to?"

"Lina," he murmured, her name conjuring up a million images of her. The mortal had permeated him somehow. He could still feel her body moving beneath his, or the smooth skin of her hand resting on his bare shoulder, her laugh echoing through his skull and her flashing eyes fixing him with a burning stare. Why did he still feel these things? He shouldn't have been able to feel anything of the sort, especially not the burning ache that sat in the center of his chest whenever the thought of her. What was worse was he had only been separated from her for an hour or so, and yet it felt as if it had been an eternity. It was sort of strange that it should feel that way to him, for he actually understood what eternity was. "When I joined company with Miss Lina she was on a journey for some ancient texts. Later I discovered that the texts contained spells to confine and split astral forms, which is how she managed to defeat Dolphin's minion."

"Human spells?"

"Yes. They were recorded at Lorander."

"Those particular humans were always thorns in our sides."

"They were all wiped out a long time ago by a deadly parasite," Xellos said, supressing a shudder. "At any rate, Miss Lina was only able to master a few of the spells. She is capable of restraining astral forms quite well, but is less proficient at dividing them into more easily-destroyed pieces. She attemped and failed to actually disintegrate the astral form, falling back onto the Ragna Blade to defeat her enemy."

"What sort of threat does she pose? Will she be able to complete the third part of the spell?"

Xellos remembered Lina's pale, frightened face as he swept her from collapsing ruins. "No. She was after the third text when the ruins caved in. She was saved, but the book is lost forever."

Xellas nodded slowly. "Very well. Send some underlings to that location and be certain that the texts are no more."

Xellos bowed slightly. "Of course, my lady."

"Now, about the girl," Xellas continued, shifting slightly in her chair.

"Yes?"

"Should she be destroyed?"

Xellos was unable to keep an expression of alarm from his face. Would his mistress actually ask him to kill Lina? Before he had become a human he would have had no problem doing so, no matter how much she amused him. Killing her wasn't personal. Now, however, tainted as he was with humanity, he wasn't sure he could look into her face and calmly end her life. "Why would you need to destroy her, Mistress?" Xellos countered quickly. "She cannot perfect the spell, and hunting down Monsters to destroy is not her motivation. Don't you think we can learn far more from keeping her alive?"

Xellas narrowed her eyes at him and was slient for several minutes. He began to feel a chill standing in her gaze, and he wondered how much she knew. That was the game with his mistress- who knew more, he or she? "Are you well, Xellos?" she asked slowly.

"Yes, Mistress," he replied haltingly.

"I would have thought that potential threats to us should be destroyed immediately."

A sudden hope appeared in front of him and he grasped it. "In this case I would disagree. She might lead us to information that could assist our kind in our battle. I believe she should be monitored very closely, by someone she trusts."

Xellas sighed. "You are, of course, suggesting yourself."

"If that's what you think is best," he said slyly, lowering his head to hide his eyes in the shadows of his bangs.

"I do not," she answered abruptly. "I believe that mortal has influenced you and the results disturb me. You are to stay away from her completely and indefinitely. Dolphin or Dynast can watch her."

"But their generals and priests are all gone," he began to protest.

Xellas scowled, her delicate features marred by the expression. "Xellos, you have never before dared to defy me outright," she said coldly.

"This is the sort of influence I don't approve of. If Lina Inverse merits observation and nothing more, we only need to set an underling upon her. There is no point in assigning someone of your rank and power to a mere mortal."

"But, Mistress-"

"Silence," Xellas snapped, but her expression was not angry. No, she seemed saddened, or the closest to it that a Monster was capable of. "You will do as I say."

"I want the choice!" Xellos shouted, bringing his staff down on the stone floor, the sharp noise ringing through the room.

Xellas stared at him in silence, the shook her head. "I don't understand what has happened to you, Xellos. We must find a way to repair it, however. From this day forth you are never to have contact with Lina Inverse again."

"Mistress," he began angrily, but shut his mouth when she raised a hand.

"Xellos, you are my creation and my servant. You will do as I say and not one thing more or less. Do you understand me?"

Xellos ground his teeth and glared at her. "I understand," he grated, eyes burning with frustration.

Xellas sighed and her expression softened. "Xellos, she's a mortal. She will grow old and die. I don't understand your fascination with her, and I deeply regret letting Phibrizzo set you on her trail. She's a strong mortal, however, and she will be fine without you. In fact, I imagine she has moved on already from her time with you."

"It has only been a few hours," he muttered.

"Hours mean more to her than to us. Now, I'm certain readjusting to being a Monster is taking a toll on you. You spent nearly a year as a human. Most likely what you're experiencing now is just residue. It will fade in time, and all will be as it was."

Xellos wondered if she was even aware that she had absolutely no idea what she was talking about. Then again, he knew his mistress would never understand him again. Nothing would ever be like it was before. "Yes, Mistress," he forced himself to say.

"Take some time to yourself. See to your quarters and business here on the island. After you have had some time to collect yourself I will summon you here again with new orders. Perhaps a new assignment will take your mind off of the Inverse girl."

He nodded and knelt again, head bowed. It was too late for him, and he knew it. He was finding that once he was given a heart, it was not so easily taken away.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Insert usual disclaimer stuff here. This is the sequel to Penance and Pursuit of Merit.

Again, I went back and chopped this fic up into chapters. If you want to read the thing straight through, with no chapter divisions, just head on over to my site, Because I chopped it up, some of the chapter transitions may be strange. Sorry about that.

Reviews are always welcome and encouraged!

* * *

Filia was busy polishing the last vase when there was a pounding at the door of the shop. "We're closed!" she shouted, not looking over her shoulder. There was a pause and then the pounding began again, more insistent this time.

"Mama, there's a lady at the door," Val said, peering out the display window.

"I know, dear, but we're closed," Filia replied patiently. "They'll just have to come back tomorrow."

Little Val blinked back at her, his large, golden eyes confused. "Okay, but she looks pretty mad."

"No one needs a vase or a mace that much," Filia mumbled, continuing her work on the vase. The pounding at the door became even more violent, then stopped. "See?" she told her child.

Val shrugged and looked out the window. "I think she really wants to come in," he said.

"Oh?"

"She's picking big rocks up out of the road."

"What?" Filia said. "Open the door, open the door!"

Val grinned. "Okay," he said, and trotted over to the door, standing on tiptoe to reach the latch. "Lady!" he cried, cupping his hands around his mouth once the door was open. "Mama says you can come in now!"

"About damn time," a familiar voice growled, and Filia turned, her mouth dropping open. Lina Inverse stood in the doorway, looking rather sweaty and disheveled. What was most alarming about her appearance, however, was her belly, swollen with child.

"Lina," Filia breathed, gently putting down the vase. "Oh my god."

"Do you know her, Mama?" Val asked, peering up at Lina with a dubious expression on his face.

"Yes, dear. She's an old friend," Filia said absently, going over and putting her hands on Lina's shoulders. "Oh, Lina, how are you doing?"

Lina's face warped in a twisted smile. "Well, for being as big as a house and not able to use magic, I'm doing okay. How are you? Is this little Valgaav?"

"Just Val," Filia said stiffly. "I will not have the names of Monsters spoken in my house."

Lina's face sobered instantly and she got a strange, pained look in her eyes. "I think that's a great policy to have," she murmured. "Well, he's sure getting big. Do you remember me, little guy?"

Val raised a sea-green eyebrow. "No," he said.

Lina laughed. "I guess it was a while ago, and you weren't really yourself at the time...it's probably for the best."

"Um, okay," Val said, and Filia watched as the boy's eyes moved to Lina's stomach. "Are you sick?" he asked, pointing at her belly.

"Sort of," Lina grumbled.

"What's wrong?"

"I'm going to have a baby," Lina explained simply, patting her stomach with a gloved hand. "And I'm not too happy about it."

Val cocked his head to the side. "Don't people like babies?" he asked, scratching his cheek.

"If they intended to have them, generally," Lina replied sharply.

"Dear, that's enough," Filia said. "Go get our things ready so we can go home."

"Okay," Val said, shuffling off into the back room.

Filia sighed and watched the child go. "He's gotten really big," Lina said. "Of course, the last time I saw him, he was a shiny egg-thing. Well, after he tried to destroy the world and everything."

Filia nodded. "Yes, he's growing up quickly, and I think he'll be a lot happier this time," she said softly, crossing her arms over her chest. "But what about you? I haven't seen you for years!"

Lina shrugged. "You know, the same old thing. Travelling around. Amelia and Zel got married, did you know?"

"No, I didn't. That's wonderful! I'm sure they'll make one another very happy."

"I think so. It was about a year and a half ago, actually. I wonder how they are."

Filia frowned slightly. "You mean you haven't seen them?"

Lina blushed, looking both embarrassed and angry at the same time. "Uh, no. I sort of left their reception early and haven't seen them since."

"But then what have you been doing?" Filia asked, leading Lina to a seat.

"I told you, travelling. I really don't want to talk about it."

Filia looked at Lina for several moments, wondering what on earth had happened. Lina was the last person she'd expect to have kids, and where was Gourry? "Lina," she asked tentatively. "Did the father of your baby die?"

Lina looked at her askance. "No, not exactly. I don't want to ever see him again, though."

"Did you and Gourry have a fight?" Filia asked, putting a hand to her mouth.

Lina scowled. "It's not Gourry's. I haven't seen him since Amelia and Zel's wedding."

Filia's jaw dropped open. If it wasn't Gourry's, whose could it be? It would take quite a man to compete with Gourry, and Filia couldn't think of any other man who would put up with Lina for as long. "Well, whose is it, then?"

"Didn't I tell you I didn't want to talk about it?" Lina snapped, and Filia blushed.

"Of course. Forgive me for prying. Well, it's great to see you, at any rate," she said.

Lina sighed and rubbed her temples. "Being pregnant is the pits. Do you know that I haven't been able to use my magic for almost nine months?"

Rilia's brow furrowed. "That is a terribly long time," she murmured. "And you've been alone that entire time?"

"Well, the last six or seven months."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be," Lina said with a wave of her hand. "Even without magic, I'm plenty capable of fending for myself. Besides, the father left me with plenty of funds. I haven't had to raid any bandit strongholds for months."

"Well, that's nice, I suppose," Filia said uncertainly, filling with concern for her friend. What a strange situation for Lina to be in! What on earth had happened?

Lina exhaled and shook her head. "Listen, Filia, do you remember when we parted ways after defeating Darkstar?"

"Of course."

"Remember how I said you could pay me back the next time we met?"

"Yes."

"Well, I need you now."

Filia met Lina's ruby-colored eyes, searching her friend's gaze for emotions. She saw uncertainty there, the pain of loss, and fear. "What do you need me to do?"

"I can't be alone when I have this baby. I don't know what to do. I have no idea how to care for children. If something should happen to me during the birthing, I couldn't even use enough magic to heal myself."

Filia smiled gently and reached forward, taking Lina's hand. "Don't worry about it," she said softly. "What are friends for?"

Lina smiled in return as Val burst into the room. "Mama!" he cried, holding aloft a large basket. "I'm done!"

Filia laughed as she stood, taking the basket from Val. "Good job, dear," she said gently. "Guess what?"

"What?" Val asked, eyes wide.

"Miss Lina is coming to stay with us for a while."

Val looked at Lina and blinked. "Her?"

"Yes, so you have to be on your best behavior and help me take care of her, okay? Can you do that, just like a big boy?"

"Okay," he said, grinning up at Filia. "Let's go home, Miss Lina."

"Er, all right,"Lina said, and followed him out the door.

Filia smiled after them, but it soon faded from her face. Lina was different somehow, and she wondered what could have ever possessed her to leave Gourry. Something had happened, and she was dying of curiosity. If Lina didn't want to have children, how had she ended up pregnant? What sort of man could have driven her so out of her head? She wondered if the father was still alive, and if he was, if she would ever meet him.

Filia exited the shop and locked up, turning around and plastering a smile on her face. "Shall we?" she asked as Val slipped his small hand into hers, and they walked off down the road to her cottage.


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: Insert usual disclaimer stuff here. This is the sequel to Penance and Pursuit of Merit.

Again, I went back and chopped this fic up into chapters. If you want to read the thing straight through, with no chapter divisions, just head on over to my site, Because I chopped it up, some of the chapter transitions may be strange. Sorry about that.

Reviews are always welcome and encouraged!

* * *

It had been several months since he had left Wolfpack Island on Xellas' orders, travelling the world and locating the ruins of temples. In exchange for Lina's life, he had been given the task of destroying all places she could possibly get further knowledge from. He had been told to destroy temples and shrines first, for the possibility of those places having knowledge that would be detrimental to his race was much higher. Sometimes, however, humans swarmed to defend their heritage, and he was forced to kill them. This was once such occasion, and he pointed at a few of the attacking mortals, ending their lives swiftly. Suddenly he felt a burning against the skin of his chest and was nearly knicked by a amateurish spell thrown by one of the humans. He shook his head and blasted the earth beneath him, sending bodies flying in every direction, some little more than charred skeletons. He threw up a hasty barrier spell and hovered in the sky, reaching a gloved hand into his shirt and pulling out the chain with the amurium ring on it. Taking a finger of the glove in his teeth, he put his staff under his armpit and tugged a glove off. He was certain that if he had been a human, not even the orihalcon chain would have contained the ring's magic, for it was glowing and warm. Lina must be calling him! He cursed his Monster's senses, knowing that if he still had the intensity of human emotion, he would have known exactly what she was feeling and where she was just from the ring resting against the bare skin of his chest. A few spells bounced off of his barrier and he glanced about, seeing the humans regrouping for another attack. He had no time for such nonsense. He hadn't seen Lina in a little over seven months, and the thought of being in her presence again filled him with a strange sense of urgency. Taking the ring in his bare hand, he closed his eyes and made a fist, light attempting to leak from in between his fingers. Ah, there she was, he could feel her. She was in pain, so much pain! It was as if her body was being split apart. He gasped with the intensity of her agony and nearly dropped his barrier, staring down at the humans benath him without actually seeing them. Xellas had ordered him never to go near Lina again, but how could he not, when she was suffering so? The decision was not difficult to make. Firing one last blast down into the crowd beneath him, he disappeared. 


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: Insert usual disclaimer stuff here. This is the sequel to Penance and Pursuit of Merit.

Again, I went back and chopped this fic up into chapters. If you want to read the thing straight through, with no chapter divisions, just head on over to my site, Because I chopped it up, some of the chapter transitions may be strange. Sorry about that.

Reviews are always welcome and encouraged!

* * *

Filia was in the kitchen, brewing tea, when Val rushed in, panting and wide-eyed. "What is it?" she asked, nearly dropping the kettle.

"Miss Lina," the boy said, and Filia set the kettle down, rushing past the child and into the parlor. She gasped as she saw Lina curled over herself, teeth bared and sweating.

"Lina!" she cried, dropping to her knees in front of the woman and looking into her face.

"Sorry," Lina grated. "I tried to hold it off, but I think it's coming now."

Filia paled. "We have to get you upstairs," she said, putting a shoulder in Lina's armpit and hauling her to her feet.

"This is awful," Lina growled, panting and gripping her stomach.

"I'm so sorry," Filia said, at a loss. Her people didn't give birth like humans did, and so she really had no idea what to do. "You should have told me sooner."

"I didn't want to. I didn't want to worry you," Lina panted, grunting with pain.

"Val!" Filia cried. "Turn down the covers!"

Val raced into the room and threw aside the covers on the bed of the guestroom, watching anxiously as Filia laid Lina down. "Mama, is she dying?"

"No, honey, she's just having the baby," Filia said quickly. "Now run into town and see if you can find the midwife, okay?"

"Midwife?"

"Misses Karey," Filia said. "Tell her that Mama's friend is having her baby."

"Okay," Val said, and dashed out of the room.

Filia clenched her teeth and peeled Lina's clothing off of her, noticing for the first time the ring she wore around her neck. It was a dull gold in color, hanging off of a chain that looked like orihalcon. Lina screamed in pain and the ring flared with light. The ring was enchanted! Filia stared at it, fascinated, when Lina screamed again. There would be time to wonder about the ring later. Right now Lina needed her. "Hold on," she urged her friend, glad she had been heating water for tea. "I'll get some water and towels and be right back."

Lina groaned and fell back onto the pillows, sweating profusely. "I'll get the bastard for this," she growled.

Filia wondered once again who the father was, then dashed from the room, returning a few moments later with the basin of water and several towels. "Everything will be just fine," Filia said, smoothing the hair off of Lina's sweaty forehead.

"Like hell it will!" Lina snapped, baring her teeth. "You've never been through this!"

Filia paled, putting her fingers to her mouth. "Well, no, but," she stammered.

"Then shut up!" Lina screeched, letting out another cry of pain.

"You need to start pushing!" Filia said, wiping Lina's face with a damp cloth.

"Trust me, I'm trying," Lina grunted, closing her eyes and gasping.

It continued like that for another several hours, and Filia was getting worried. The town was a good two hours away for Val, even if he ran at top speed. He still didn't know how to teleport, and she didn't think him transorming and flying into town was a good idea. Still, he should have been on his way back by now. She gave Lina a new cloth to bite down on and swabbed her face once again, lips pursed with concern. Lina sobbed and screamed as she pushed, breathing ragged. Suddenly the winds outside rose and she heard a voice cutting through the air, its tones clear and strong. "Lina!" the voice bellowed, and Filia's heart leapt into her throat. She whipped around to stare at Lina, whose eyes had snapped wide open.

"No!" Lina said. "Oh, please, no!"

Filia draped the cloth over the chair and looked out the window, knowing who she would see and not wanting to believe it. Her eyes widened in shock, her jaw dropping as Xellos strode towards the house, his amethyst eyes burning with an unidentifiable emotion. "Lina!" he shouted. "Are you all right?"

"Go away!" Lina screamed, tears rolling down her face. "I don't want you here!"

"Lina!" Xellos roared, the winds around the house picking up speed.

Filia gasped as she saw something hanging out the front of his shirt, glowing like a miniature sun. Suddenly she saw her own shadow cast against the wall, and when she turned she saw Lina's ring glowing as well. Her eyes went even wider as realization broke over her like a tornado, jumbling everything inside her head. "Xellos is the father?" she breathed, stunned.

"Yes!" Lina moaned. "Oh please, Filia, don't let him in! Do whatever you have to to keep him away!"

Filia looked outside at the approaching Monster, his hair blowing every which way in the wind he was creating. She realized the wind was caused by his gathering of power, and she quickly chanted a spell, casting a barrier around her entire house.

"Filia?" Xellos said, attempting to come nearer and thwarted by the barrier. His sharp features twisted in a scowl as he placed a hand against the barrier. His amethyst eyes met Filia's frightened blue ones and he snarled. "Let me in! I have to see Lina!" he shouted, pounding his fist against the barrier.

"I can't!" Filia said, trying to ignore Lina's screams and keep up the barrier. "She doesn't want to see you!"

"Let me in!" he howled, and she staggered backwards as he began to unleash spells. She grunted and shut her eyes, pouring everything she could into the spell. Xellos pursed his lips and lashed out, dark energy crackling around the perimeter of her house. Trees were uprooted and went flying past the window, dirt and dust swirling in the thick air.

"Go away!" Lina shrieked, sobbing as she pushed again.

"No!" Xellos cried, and Filia quailed as she saw a look of stark desperation pass over his face. "I won't! What's happening?"

"He doesn't know she was pregnant," Filia whispered to herself as she braced against his onslaught. Xellos shouted his frustration and pummeled her barrier with spells she didn't even know existed, and soon she began to break down. She had never realized how strong he was, not in all the time they had traveled together during their bout with Darkstar.

"Please, Xellos!" Lina wailed, her hair sticking to her forehead as her body was wracked by another contraction.

"Lina!" Xellos replied, reaching out a hand, when suddenly a large, dark form appeared behind him. It looked vaguely like a wolf, and seemed to be more like a spot where light never had existed rather than a shadow. The blackness pounced upon Xellos and he fought it madly, bringing his staff up in front of him and pushing against it. It clawed at him, tearing his cloak and knocking him over, and still he struggled. "No!" he shouted. "Lina!" The black thing grew to tremendous size and covered him, and all Filia could see were his gloved hands, flailing and clutching at the dirt as he was dragged away. He screamed and she saw a brief glimpse of his eyes, wide in desperation and terror. The blackness then surrounded him and vanished, leaving nothing but clawed soil behind. The wind died down and Filia collapsed, exhausted from trying to hold the barrier for so long. What was it, and why had it taken Xellos? Was the Monster dead? Why had he come for Lina?

A thousand more questions raced through Filia's head and she turned to Lina, who was still laboring away. She rose and staggered to the bedside, trembling as she wiped Lina's forehead with the cloth. "Are you all right?" she asked gently.

"Xellos," Lina murmured, and Filia could tell that her tears weren't only from the pain of labor.

"Not much longer," Filia said, trying to reassure her friend, when she heard the front door open. "Hold on," she said to Lina, racing into the front room.

Val bounded into her arms, face alarmed. "Mama, what happened outside?" he asked.

Filia looked up and saw the midwife. "Nothing, honey. Why don't you go outside and start to clean up while we take care of Miss Lina?'

Val reluctantly let go of her and went to the door. "Okay," he said, and was gone.

"This way," Filia said to the woman, and led her to Lina.

Filia watched anxiously for another hour until Lina screeched in a final push, and the baby slid into the world. Lina groaned and fell back on to the pillows, gasping for air. The midwife busily cleaned the child, a girl, and handed her back to Lina. Filia felt tears roll down her face as Lina took the girl into her arms, closing her eyes. Filia went to Lina and gently laid her hands upon her skin. "Recovery," she said softly, and Lina sighed as her body was repaired.

"Thank you," Filia said to the midwife, handing her some coins. "Stop by my shop anytime and pick out a nice vase for yourself."  
The woman nodded and left the room after a few congratulatory words. "She's beautiful," Filia murmured as she watched Lina run her fingers through the baby's thick, purple hair.

"She looks all squished," Lina said. "I thought babies were supposed to be cute."

"I don't think any species looks cute right after being born," Filia said, watching as the baby stirred on Lina's bare chest. The ring around Lina's neck had gone ominously dark, and Filia wondered what enchantment had been put upon it.

Lina closed her eyes and pressed her nose to the crown of the baby's head, tears silently rolling down her face. Filia leaned forward, putting a hand on Lina's arm. "Are you all right?" she asked gently.

"I don't want her," Lina whispered. "I want to put him behind me, but she looks just like him."

"Xellos, you mean."

"Who else?"

Filia gently took the child from Lina's arms and pulled the covers up over the exhausted woman's body. She rocked the child gently, fingering the silky, dark tufts of hair on the baby's head. "Is she human?" Filia asked softly, looking down into the infant's face.

"Yeah, I think so."

"How is that possible? I mean, if Xellos is the father. . .And how did you two, er, he didn't force you, did he?"

"He never laid a violent hand on me, ever. He never even raised his voice," Lina muttered. "It's a long story."

"Are you going anywhere?" Filia asked, drawing up a chair.

Lina laughed, the sound bitter. "Roughly two years ago, Amelia nearly died from a curse. We all gathered to help her and she was cured. Then some of Deep Sea Dolphin's people attacked us, a general and a priestess. I tricked Xellos into helping us, then used his spell to my own ends. The Dark Lords punished him by turning him into a human being. I found him lying in a ditch, half-dead. He wanted to die, actually. He couldn't take being human. Anyway, I was looking for some old books, and his knowledge of the ancient world was helpful, so we travelled together for nearly a year. Then he got turned back into a Monster, and I haven't seen him since."

"And you two were lovers," Filia whispered, looking down at the product of that union.

"In short, yeah, but I could never be with a Monster, and his duties apparently didn't allow it, anyway."

"I'm sorry," Filia said, bowing her head. "It must have been very painful."

"Too late now," Lina said, looking at the ceiling. "But I have to move on and put him behind me."

"Did you love him?"

Lina was silent for a long time. "I don't know," she finally answered. "I don't think I could ever choose."

Filia listened to what Lina left unsaid. "Between him and Gourry," she stated.

"Ah," Lina replied.

Filia sighed and looked down at the baby, conflicting emotions roiling within her. "What are you going to name her?"

"I'm not going to. No point in getting attached. I can't take her with me."

"What? Why not?"

Lina exhaled and sat up a little on her pillows. "I have to leave it all in the past. I'm going to start over and do things the way I probably should have in the first place."

"What am I supposed to do with her?" Filia asked, alarm growing.

Lina shrugged. "Whatever you want. Keep her, put her up for adoption."

"But she's your child! Doesn't it bother you at all to leave her behind?"

Lina turned moist eyes on Filia. "Of course it does!" she said, voice raw. "It kills me! But what else can I do? She can never know her father, and I didn't want to give birth to her. What sort of life is that? I know myself, Filia, and I know that she'd make me bitter. Neither of us would ever be happy."

"Well, you're going back to Gourry, aren't you?"

Lina raised an eyebrow. "Maybe."

"He'd raise the baby as his own, I just know it! He loves you with all his heart, and he would love anything that was a part of you, too!"

Lina shook her head. "I know he would, but I couldn't deal with that. Besides, he'd feel betrayed if he knew I had children with another man when I wouldn't have kids with him. I know he'd accept it in time, but I wouldn't want to hurt him like that. No, he'll never know about Xellos, and neither will anyone else."

"But, Lina-"

"Promise me you'll take this secret to your grave, Filia," Lina said, ruby eyes intense. "Promise."

"Lina, I'm not sure if-"

"Promise!"

Filia pursed her lips and looked down at the baby, who was beginning to squirm. "Very well. I promise."

Lina leaned back on the pillows. "Thanks," she murmured, closing her eyes.

"I think she needs to eat," Filia said, handing the baby to Lina.

Lina's lip curled in distaste, but put the child to her breast. "You'll have to find a wetnurse for her once I leave."

"All right," Filia said.

Lina watched her daughter feed for a little while, then glanced at Filia. "Was he really here, or did I imagine it?"

Filia swallowed. "No, he came for you. He was going to do whatever it took to get to you. It's been a long time since I was that frightened. The only thing I saw in his eyes was desperation."

Lina nodded, squeezing her eyes shut. "What happened?"

"Something took him."

"Took him? Xellos?"

"Yes. It was large and black, more like a hole than a shadow. It wrapped itself around him and he tried to fight it, but he lost and they both vanished."

"It must have been pretty damn strong to just cart him off like that."

"I think it was," Filia agreed. After a while the infant was done feeding and Filia gently took her from Lina. "Get some rest," she said, and shut the door behind her.


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: Insert usual disclaimer stuff here. This is the sequel to Penance and Pursuit of Merit.

Again, I went back and chopped this fic up into chapters. If you want to read the thing straight through, with no chapter divisions, just head on over to my site, Because I chopped it up, some of the chapter transitions may be strange. Sorry about that.

Reviews are always welcome and encouraged!

* * *

"Sire, there's someone here to see you," the page announced, interrupting Zelgadis. He sighed and put down the flask, turning to the young man.

"I thought I told you I was not to be disturbed," he said sharply, putting his hands on his hips.

"I know that, sir, but she was very. . .insistent."

Zelgadis narrowed his eyes. Not very many people came to see him at all, let alone demanded to see him. "Very well," he said after a moment. "Admit her."

"Right away," the page said, and scurried off.

Zelgadis slipped out of his coat and put it on a hook, stepping away from his lab bench and taking a seat by his desk. Amelia did her best to spare him most of the paperwork, leaving him plenty of time to work on a cure in his lab. He hadn't found anything yet, but he had made a few promising medicines for other ailments.

The door creaked open and he glanced up, mouth opening slightly as he saw who entered the room. "Hi," his visitor said. "Long time no see."

"Lina!" he gasped, standing. "How are you? Where have you been? You've been gone for two years!"

She smiled and blushed, scratching her cheek. "Oh, I've been doing this and that. My research was halted before I could finish it, and I don't think I'll get another chance. Sometimes you just have to give up and move on, you know?"

"I guess," he said, looking her up and down. "You look well."

"Thanks," she replied.

He studied her face for long moments, refraining from asking the hundreds of questions that sped through his mind. "Amelia would love to see you," he finally said.

"Yeah, well, I don't really have the time right now," Lina said haltingly, putting a hand behind her head. "How are you two doing, by the way?"

"Very well, thank you. We're expecting our first child in several months."

"Oh, congratulations!" Lina said with a grin. "That's great! I'm happy you still have enough human to have kids."

Zel rolled his eyes. It seemed that Lina hadn't lost her flair for tact. "Er, thank you," he replied. "We're very happy."

"I'm really glad you are," she said softly. "It's great that you get to be with someone who completes you."

"And you, Lina? Did you find any of your answers?"

Lina's face fell slightly and she shook her head. "No," she answered. "I only found more questions."

He sighed. "I'm very sorry to hear that," he said. "So what are you going to do now?"

"I'm going to give up," she said. "I suspect that I don't really need answers to those questions. I just need to do what I should have done a long time ago."

Zelgadis nodded his head in understanding. "So you visited to find out where Gourry is."

Lina chuckled. "Yeah, I guess so."

"He took it pretty hard when you left him," Zelgadis warned.

"I'm sure," Lina said with a sigh. "But I had to do it. I don't regret it."

"Someday I'd like to hear what you were up to for so long," he murmured.

"Well, maybe someday I'll tell you."

"Now would be great. Where were you, Lina, and what were you doing?"

"That's a," she began, and then her face fell, an odd, sad look taking hold of her features. "Secret," she finished lifelessly.

"I'm sorry I tried to pressure you," he said. Whatever had happened to her, she wasn't ready to talk about it. Perhaps it really was for the best that she went back to Gourry. He would accept her completely, regardless of what she disclosed and what she kept hidden. The blonde swordsman might be just the thing to soothe away the sadness he saw in her face.

"So, where is he?"

"Actually, he's living here. He's an official Seyruun knight now. He's landed and everything."

"Really? Lord Gourry Gabriev?"

"Yeah. He served Seyruun well in your absence."

"I guess so," she said with a low whistle.

"Not that he has any vassals or anything. Actually, he spends most of his time teaching students."

"He might be as dumb as a rock, but there's no one better with a sword," Lina said.

Zelgadis nodded. "He lives on the northwest perimeter of the city. I can give you directions, if you'd like."

"No, I'll just wander around," Lina said. "I'm sure I'll find him eventually."

Zelgadis smiled and looked at her again, noticing for the first time that she wore something around her neck. "Oh, that's a strange ring. What's it made out of?"

Lina blushed, then paled. "Heh, this old thing. I picked it up in a shop on the road. It's made of a rare metal, amurium, and I thought it might appreciate in value."

Zelgadis raised a brow but didn't call her bluff. The ring must be another thing she wasn't ready to talk about, which made him more eager than before to find out what exactly had happened to her. Perhaps he would discuss it later with his wife. Amelia had an odd sense when it came to such matters. "Well, it's certainly unusual," he said with a smile. "It was good to see you. After you've settled in again with Gourry, be certain to come and visit us."

Lina grinned and caught him up in a brief hug. "I will, Zel. Thanks for your help. I'm glad I can count on you."

"Anytime," he replied, and turned back to his work.

Several hours later he slid into bed next to his wife, putting his ear to her stomach and sighing. "You'll never guess who I saw today," he murmured as her fingers danced lightly through his hair, her soft touch tracing the curve of his long, pointed ear.

"Oh?" she asked gently, smiling down at him. "Who was it?"

He kissed her belly and laid beside her, gathering her into his arms and resting his chin on the top of her head. "Lina," he replied.

Amelia sat straight up in bed, staring down at him. "You saw Lina?" she gasped. "And you didn't bring her to see me?"

Zelgadis sat up as well, crossing his legs beneath the sheets and facing her. "She had some things to take care of, I think. She didn't seem to want to hang around, otherwise I would have brought her straight to you."

"How was she?"

Zelgadis leaned forward and kissed her full lips, smiling as she sighed and pressed against him. He watched as her dark blue eyes fluttered open, shining as she looked at him. "She seemed...odd. First of all, she appeared drained, not radiant like you."

She shook her head. "Zelgadis, stop kidding around."

He smiled. "I'm not. Why, can't I compliment my own wife?"

A blush stained her cheeks. "Of course you can, but I want to hear about Lina! I haven't seen her in a really long time, you know."

"Fine, fine," he said. "She really did seemed drained. I suspect that she's been through a lot. Anyway, she just visited to find out where Gourry was."

"And you told her, I hope."

"Of course I did. That's why I didn't pressure her to come visit you. I did tell her to call on us when she had things squared away with him, though."

Amelia sighed and placed her hand on his chest, pushing him down onto his back and settling her head against his shoulder. "Well, that was probably a pretty good idea."

"I thought so," he replied. "I guess they'll end up together, now. Something was strange, though."

"Like what?"

"Well, her eyes were sort of sad, like a lot had happened to her that hurt. She was wearing an amurium ring around her neck, too."

"A ring? Of amurium? What's that?"

"Well, from what I've read, amurium was a metal that was used hundreds of years ago. It looks sort of like gold, but is a lot harder. It can't be destroyed through normal or magical means. You have to throw it into lava or something similar. At any rate, it is capable of absorbing a single spell and re-casting that spell an infinite number of times for all eternity. The technique was lost centuries ago, though, and it's incredibly rare to find anything made out of it anymore."

"And it was a ring?"

"Yes."

Amelia frowned and pressed her lips into a line, thinking. "That's very odd."

"That's what I thought. I guess it doesn't surprise me that Lina has such a valuable piece of jewelry, but why wear it around her neck? And why would Lina have a ring? The chain looked like orihalcon, too, so it's probably got a pretty strong spell on it."

Amelia's eyes opened wide and she stared up at him. "Maybe someone special gave it to her. Rings are very symbolic, and Gourry has never given her anything."

"You think Lina was off having a tryst?"

"Well, you told me she left because she had to figure things out about her relationship with Gourry. Now she's back. Maybe she got involved with someone and it didn't work out, and now she's looking for someone familiar to soothe her wounds."

Zelgadis narrowed his eyes, putting one hand behind his head and the other around Amelia's shoulders. The swell of her belly pressed into his side and he squeezed her tightly. He was happy he didn't have to worry about such things anymore. "I'm not sure Lina would just fall in love with a stranger and take up with him, though," Zel replied.

"No, I can't see her doing that, either. Miss Lina isn't the lovestruck type."

"No. If your theory is correct, it would have to be from someone we know," he said.

Amelia nodded, silent for a few moments. "I can't think of anyone," she said, nuzzling into his shoulder.

"We should sleep, anyway. I'm sure we'll find out what's going on in time. This is all conjecture, anyway," he replied, blowing out the candles next to the bed.

"Mmm," she answered, snuggling against him.

He sighed, the situation still turning itself over in his mind as Amelia's breathing slowed. Who could she have run into? Who could have possibly given her an invaluable enchanted ring? Was there anyone Lina would even consider having as her lover? Suddenly amethyst, slitted eyes flitted across his brain, and he opened his eyes wide in the darkness. Could it be?

He considered for several moments, mulling it over slowly. The thought was a strange one, and he turned it over in his mind several times. "Nah," he finally said into the night, and drifted off to sleep.


	6. Chapter 6

A/N: Insert usual disclaimer stuff here. This is the sequel to Penance and Pursuit of Merit.

Again, I went back and chopped this fic up into chapters. If you want to read the thing straight through, with no chapter divisions, just head on over to my site, Because I chopped it up, some of the chapter transitions may be strange. Sorry about that.

Reviews are always welcome and encouraged!

* * *

"No!" Xellos screamed as a multitude of hands held him down. The hands of underlings tore at his clothes and his staff clattered uselessly in a corner. He shuddered and struggled as his bare back was pressed against a stone slab. "No!" The chain with the ring on it was torn from around his neck and he found the strength to knock away his attackers, grasping at it. His fingers wrapped around the chain just as someone else caught the ring, and he shouted as claws and talons raked at his back in an effort to subdue him. His eyes opened wide as he saw who had the other end of the ring, the underlings slinking away.

"Shame on you," Greater Beast Xellas Metallium said with narrowed eyes, taking the ring from his motionless fingers and tossing it on the heap of his clothing.

He bared his teeth and glanced at the ring, making sure he knew where it was. A grunt left him as a crushing power laid him out flat on the cold stone slab. He tried to struggle, but the power was too great and he only became tired. "Why?" he growled, barely even able to draw breath. A gasp left him as he felt his astral form being bound just as his physical body had been. He was trapped, his mistress was trapping him.

"I could ask you the same thing, little one," Xellas answered, staring down at him with her cold golden wolf's eyes.

"You don't understand," he grated in return, hissing against the pain of the cuts on his body and astral form.

"You're right, I don't," she replied, walking around the stone slab to stand at his head. She looked the length of his naked body and shook her head. "The time you spent in trapped in this body tainted you somehow, Xellos. What you did today was the last straw."

"I had to! She was in pain!" he cried, grunting as he strained against the power that held him.

"Why do you care if she was in pain?" Xellas asked, scowling down at him. "You are no longer a human, Xellos. You should not care for anything other than carrying out my orders."

"If I knew I would tell you," he rasped, a vein appearing in his temple as he toiled to free himself.

"It disturbs me even more that you do not know," she said softly, smoothing the hair off of his forehead in an almost tender gesture. "My poor, wayward creation," she murmured.

A moan of frustration broke free from his chest as he writhed, trying to get away. Who knew if Lina was even alive. That damned Filia had managed to keep him from her, and then his own mistress had ripped him away. He couldn't stand it; he had to reach Lina. "Let me go," he pleaded, looking up into his mistress' eyes.

"I thought the trickster priest never begged," she said coldly. "No, I cannot let you go. You disobeyed my direct orders, and that is inexcusable. Since taking away your powers again would just effectively return you to a human state, which is how this trouble began in the first place, I can obviously not take that course of action. I am afraid you must be punished, my child. We cannot have you following your own desires any longer."

Xellos snarled and tried to attack her, but was held flat to the slab by her power. She sighed, something akin to regret on her face. "I do not want to do this to you, my pup, but there is no other way. I hope you understand that someday," she said softly, and raised a palm. He screamed as the pressure on his limbs began to build, the pain becoming even more intense until his mind refused to absorb any more and he slipped into unconsciousness.


	7. Chapter 7

A/N: Insert usual disclaimer stuff here. This is the sequel to Penance and Pursuit of Merit.

Again, I went back and chopped this fic up into chapters. If you want to read the thing straight through, with no chapter divisions, just head on over to my site, Because I chopped it up, some of the chapter transitions may be strange. Sorry about that.

Reviews are always welcome and encouraged!

* * *

It was time, she decided as she heard Gourry come into the room after a day of training students. He had cried when he saw her walking across the lawn to him, crushing her to him and squeezing the breath from her. He had, of course, wanted to know where she had been and what she had done, but she wouldn't talk about it. She also didn't want to be held by him or kissed, something he obviously didn't understand but respected nonetheless. In fact, she felt rather bad about refusing his offers of physical affection, but she still wasn't ready. After all, she had only had her baby two months ago, and although the pain of childbirth had long since worn off, she was waiting until everything she did didn't remind her of the daughter she had left behind and the child's missing father.

Now her mind was made up. She had come to realize that the wounds she had received from her experiences with Xellos would never completely fade, just as the wounds from leaving Gourry had never faded. Both men would be in her heart for as long as she lived, and Gourry was just as good a man as any. "I'm really happy you're here," Gourry said as he hung his cloak on the hook next to the door. "I like having my own house and all, but it gets lonely sometimes."

"Why don't you travel, then?" she asked from her chair next to the fire, glancing up from her book.

"Well, Zel and Amelia went through all sorts of trouble to get students for me. I can't just up and leave," he replied, taking the chair opposite hers. He smiled at her, handsome face seeming lit from within by the expression. Gourry had a wonderful grin. Xellos had never grinned.

"I guess," Lina said, closing the book. She set the volume down in the chair and moved over to the window, watching the sun travel towards the western horizon.

"Are you okay?" Gourry asked, coming up behind her. He placed his warm, calloused hands on her shoulders, his rough skin feeling nice against her flesh.

She just had to give in, it wouldn't be difficult, she told herself. She leaned against him and closed her eyes, relaxing. Just give in. "I'm fine," she murmured, focusing on Gourry's earthy scent. He smelled like cut grass and leather, reminding her of the early days of summer.

"All right," he replied, sounding dubious, and when she didn't answer he slid his arms around her. A sigh stirred her hair as he pressed his cheek against her head, and she remembered how content she had been with him, at the beginning. He was a comforting presence, to say the least. "Lina, you've been here a couple of weeks now," he began haltingly. She turned in his embrace and looked into his kind eyes, knowing what he was going to say. "And I just want you to know that it doesn't matter where you were or what you did. I love you, no matter what, and I always will."

She blinked up at him, feeling the strange urge to start weeping. "Do you promise?" she whispered.

He smiled and bent his head, his golden hair falling around them like a curtain. "I promise," he murmured, and slowly bent to kiss her. His lips were soft and warm, and she pushed all comparisons with Xellos out of her head. His kiss wasn't full of heat and passion, but it was full of kindness and love. He really, truly loved her, and she wasn't going to let that be taken from her yet again. She would start over fresh, and Gourry was her chance to do so. Turning up the heat of their kiss, she untucked his shirt and ran her hands over his unbelievably muscular torso. He sighed against her and broke their embrace, picking her up easily. "We still have a while before supper," he said softly.

"All right," she said, feeling reassured by his massiveness, and let him carry her up the stairs to his room.

It was strange to make love to such a tall, heavy man after nearly a year with Xellos. Although the dark-haired man was very muscular and strong, he was wiry and slender where Gourry was packed with dense muscle. She grunted as he moved powerfully against her, his large hands gripping her waist. Her hands gripped fistfuls of his hair as he panted next to her ear, his body tense. A moan escaped her and she clutched at his back, carried along by his forceful movements. There was a tenderness to Gourry's lovemaking that had been lacking in Xellos', it had a fuzzy, soft edge that she hadn't realized she missed. She came gently and relaxed into the pillows, waiting until Gourry finished as well and collapsed on top of her, pressing her into the mattress with his weight. "Gods, I missed you," he murmured into her ear, kissing her jaw.

"I missed you, too," she replied, stroking his unruly hair.

"Do you think you'll stay?" he asked, voice a little uncertain.

"Yes," she replied. "This time I'll stay."

"That makes me happy."

"Me, too." She would do her best to be happy with Gourry. He was a good man, strong and yet gentle, and he would do right by her. Gourry always did what was right. She never had to worry again, if she didn't want to. He would care for her with everything he was. She had been wrong; he would never try to own her, or pressure her into doing things she didn't want to do. First of all, she would never, ever have another baby. She had already visited the midwife and apothecary, and as long as she kept to her schedule she would never have such an accident again. The heavens only knew how she had managed to be so careless before. Perhaps a small part of her hadn't really believed that Xellos was human enough to reproduce, or that they would ever become lovers. None of that mattered now, however. She was with the man who belonged with her, and if she had anything to say about it she would never let him go.

Four months later it was almost as if she had never left him. They bickered over food and went for long walks in the countryside. Once in a while she'd start a conversation he had no hope of following, but that was okay. It sort of bothered her that she couldn't use him as a sounding board for her magical theories, but he made up for it in other ways. All the old pressure that she had once felt he put upon her was completely gone, and she had to admit that she liked the luxuries of his new lifestyle. Besides, if she itched for adventure she could aways get on the road again. After all, she did have a place to come back to. She had a home, and with a strong and gentle man. The deep, smooth tones of his voice soothed her to sleep each night, and she awoke every morning in his brawny embrace. She really couldn't have been happier, she told herself. He even made love to her whenever she liked, and it was always sweet and nice. She appreciated it, and accepted the fact that mind-blowing sessions weren't the norm with Gourry. He touched a deep place within her, and the fact that he was capable of doing that much meant a lot to her. Lina was finally happy again, the first time she had been truly happy since before Xellos had gone away.

She wondered sometimes about her daughter, and hoped the girl was all right. Perhaps she'd even go back for her someday. At times she found herself staring out the window, watching the sun set or the falling rain, pushing away the memories of dark hair and eyes that brushed at the fringes of her mind. Once she had removed the ring from around her neck, sliding it off of its chain and around her finger, holding her hand out in front of her and examining the effect. Tentatively she searched out the ring's magic, wondering if it was actually for real, but she felt only cold metal and an aching darkness. It seemed Xellos had lied to her after all. Not surprising, considering he was a Monster. She had hastily taken the ring off of her finger, running the chain through it and refastening it around her neck, fighting down disappointment.

One morning she awoke to Gourry's kisses, his large hands gently moving her hair aside so he could better get at her neck. "Good morning," he murmured against her skin.

"Hi," she replied, stretching and smiling. She looked down and saw his fingers fumbling at the catch of her necklace. Eyes wide, she snatched it away from him, gripping the ring in her fist. "What are you doing?" she asked sharply.

"What do you mean?" he replied, brows furrowing in confusion. "It was in my way, so I thought I'd move it."

"Well, I don't want you to," she muttered, looking down at the ring, and thought for a moment that it sparkled, something it hadn't done in months.

"Okay," Gourry said. "I'm sorry."

She sighed and rolled onto her side, looking at the patterns the sun was making on the floor. "It's all right," she said softly.

He draped a large arm over her and pulled her close. "Where did you get that thing, anyway?" he asked. "You never ever take it off."

"It was a gift. It's a rare precious metal."

"It doesn't look very rare. I guess it must mean a lot to you."

She closed her fist around the ring once again. "I suppose it does," she replied.

"Well, if you ever want to tell me its story, I'll be happy to listen," he said, gently nuzzling her neck.

"Okay. Maybe someday."

"Okay." He was silent for a few moments, then squeezed her tenderly. "Lina, I love you with all my heart."

For some reason tears sprang to her eyes and she nodded. "I know, Gourry," she replied. "I love you, too." As soon as she said the words, she realized they were true.


	8. Chapter 8

A/N: Insert usual disclaimer stuff here. This is the sequel to Penance and Pursuit of Merit.

Again, I went back and chopped this fic up into chapters. If you want to read the thing straight through, with no chapter divisions, just head on over to my site, Because I chopped it up, some of the chapter transitions may be strange. Sorry about that.

Reviews are always welcome and encouraged!

* * *

Xellos groaned as he came to, his astral form cut nearly to ribbons. Curling up into a ball, he shivered on the stone slab where he had spent the past several months of his existence, cold and naked. The things she had done to him, the things his mistress had done to him. She hadn't wanted to, he could sense that, but she had bequeathed her power temporarily to some underlings, and they had been more than happy to turn his life into a living hell. They had tormented him physically for a very long time, and still he had fought them. They attacked his astral body repeatedly, and still he had fought them. Then they realized the source of his rebelliousness, and in doing so they had broken him. "You're tainted, Master Priest," they had whispered, and he had known it for the truth.

The only way they had tried to cure him was to cut away pieces of him, reshaping them and reattaching them. They needed to destroy the human soul that so tenaciously clung to his astral body. The underlings tried and tried again, and finally Xellas had intervened. "I don't want him dead," she had snapped to her servants, and had attempted herself to rid him of the human aspects grafted to his soul. "Soiled, just like Gaav," she had finally pronounced with a sigh, tenderly running her long, tan fingers through his sweat-matted hair. "My poor pup."

"Mistress," Xellos had moaned, mind reeling from his extended punishment. It seemed that he and his pain were one. He had no body, no form, only pain for limbs and skin. Barely even aware that he still lived, his groggy state remained unchanged from one day to the next as he was worked upon.

"If we cannot remove the him from the human, we must make sure he has no reason to act upon that humanity ever again," Xellas decreed, and left the chamber.

The underlings had transported him them to a different place, one he didn't recognize, and set him free. He didn't know where he was or what he was doing there. The only thing he was sure of was that he seemed to be in some sort of structure, and he was wandering its hallways. "Hello?" he had called, stumbling through the corridors, a hand on the wall to steady himself. At least someone had thought to dress him partially, and he plucked at the fabric, wondering what was happening. Was this his new prison? Had his mistress locked him away? He stopped for a moment, leaning against the cold wall as he felt his limbs quiver with exhaustion. His nose and ears, with his heightened Monster senses, detected nothing but stone and dampness. Clutching his own bare shoulders with clammy palms he stumbled toward the distant sound of water. Where was this place? He had only arrived a few moments ago, and he wondered what sort of punishment lay in store for him. For a second he wished that he had never become human, that there was some way to burn the human taint from his Monster's soul, but then the memory of Lina's soft lips on his throat, or the sound of her joyful laugh as they walked together among the trees would surface in his mind, and it took every ounce of will he could muster not to drop to his knees right there in the corridor and surrender to despair.

As he trudged along the passageways, always working his way toward the sound of water, he had time to reflect upon many things. He shivered constantly while traveling the dark, wet hallways, wondering why he could feel the cold at all. He had never experienced acute physical heat or cold when he was a Monster, only as a human. Yet he was not human at the moment, of that he was certain. It had not taken him long to realize that although his powers had somehow been sealed away he was still a Monster. He had tried to teleport several times and failed. His punishers must have sealed away a large portion of his astral power, since he was incapable of summoning his staff or clothing, nor could he utilize any magic at all. The power was there, though, hovering at the edge of his senses, and his sight, olfaction, and auditory abilities were far sharper than they had been as a human. Emotions surged just out of his reach, and he knew that the human part of him that his mistress had created was still there, sucking at his soul like a leech. He wondered what sort of punishment the underlings had in store for him.

Just as he thought of them, several appeared before him in the passageway, dark forms constantly changing as his eyes tried to focus on them. "How do you like your new home?" one asked softly, an orange eye rolling to the surface and fixing upon him.

"The decor is sadly lacking," he replied dryly, fingers digging into his own ribs as he clutched himself against the chill of the place.

The creatures chuckled dryly in the darkness. "The mighty Xellos, the favorite of the mistress, has finally fallen," another said. "Taste failure, and remember. It is all you will ever taste again."

"Is it your intent to starve me, then?" Xellos said, narrowing his eyes and leaning a shoulder against the damp stone wall. "Do you plan on slowly draining me of power?"

Again there was laughter. "No, you are too strong to starve simply because you can't feed on negative human emotions," yet another replied. "Starvation would be too easy for you."

"Besides, the Mistress wants you alive. You must be rehabilitated."

"You mean broken," Xellos said flatly.

"Something like that. You must not be allowed to stray any farther."

"I cannot let you do that," Xellos said, his features twisting in defiance as he summoned his power to him and released it at the underlings. . . Nothing happened.

The soft chuckles of the shapless masses in front of him turned into raucous laughter. "Now how does it feel, General Priest? How does it feel to be powerless, to fear those stronger than you?"

"You," Xellos said quietly, voice not betraying the slow fear growing within him.

"We're mighter than you, now," one of the shapes said. "We can do what we like with you."

"Perhaps now, but not forever," Xellos replied. "The Mistress will want me returned to her whole."

A hiss rose from the group, and he only had time for a single gasp as they came at him. He cried aloud as their claws tore at him, forcing him to the slippery stones. Sharp talons dug into his shoulders and pressed him to the floor while other limbs pummeled him. "Fools! You'll have to do better than this!" Xellos shouted, lashing out blindly with his limbs. His strength immediately deserted him, spirited away by the underlings, and he could only grunt as he was beaten. Blood ran down to the ground from his shoulders, the fluid a thick, greasy black- Monster's blood.

"We will do better, Master Xellos," one said triumphantly as they became bored with beating him. "Just wait."

"The Mistress has lent us her power. We shall make good use of it."

"Give up your humanity now and you will be spared."

Xellos panted, feeling his body already beginning to heal. "I would if I could," he grated, but knew the words for a lie the moment they passed his lips. Before the winter, before the cabin and Lina, he would have meant them with all his black heart. However, as he lay in the sticky pool of his own blood, he wasn't certain. His time with the human sorceress had meant something to him, still meant something to him, and he wasn't sure how to deal with that. Nothing had ever actually meant anything to him before. Existence certainly hadn't mattered, only the destruction of existence, and even that was simply a default characteristic of the Monster race. Despite losing most of his emotions upon returning to Monster form, Lina was still precious to him. He cursed his weakness and longed for it simultaneously, wishing he had the strength to kill her and rid himself of the taint, but yearning to be able to hold her again, to feel her smile against his cheek and her body wrapped around his as she whispered to him her dreams.

"We will be certain that you can," one of the underlings replied, and they all disappeared.

He groaned and sat up, skin feeling frozen as he moved. The temperature was becoming unbearable, as was his frustration at even being aware of the cold. They were planning something, but he had no idea what it was. That bothered him as well; he was used to knowing every little thing that happened within his Mistress' domain. His slitted pupils carefully surveyed his surroundings as he pulled himself up to standing, eyes darting in every direction. It was becoming obvious that he was in a place of the underlings' construction and therefore had to be on his guard every single moment. The entire place had been created for the sole purpose of harming him, and he had to be sure to keep that in mind.

At least the underlings didn't have a conception of physical hunger or thirst, he thought, otherwise he would most likely have been feeling both. By his calculations he had been wandering the tunnels for roughly eighty hours, and he was marginally closer to the sound of rushing water. The darkness of the tunnels didn't bother him in the least, being the Monster he was and used to travelling the subterannean passages his Mistress seemed to fancy, but the damp and cold were beginning to wear on him. He had never been aware of such sensations, not really, until he had become human, and he paused for a moment to wonder if the underlings, being the lesser Monsters that they were and therefore closer to beasts and mortals than he, felt the effects of temperature upon their bodies. They must, he decided, for it was definitely having an effect on him. It seemed as if he was constantly wiping moisture from his bare chest and shoulders, smoothing droplets from his hair. The dampness was not pleasant in the least. The last time he had been aware of being wet he was with Lina on the last leg of their trip, seeing her smile flash in the moonlight as they bathed together. Her name left his lips unbidden, the sound barely even a whisper, and his fist clenched against the stone surrounding him. Damn her, damn her to the deepest depths of Phibrizzo's realm. She had changed him somehow, and he wasn't certain he liked it. He, who had once been impervious, now had a weakness. That damn human woman had done something to him, and with desperate agony he realized that he would never be able to change back.

She didn't want him now, that was for certain. He felt it through the ring when he rushed to be at her side, frenzied by the pain that poured from her and into him through the ring's magic. He fought to be near her, he wanted to help her, and she had spurned him. Lina no longer wanted him. A small, bitter smile twisted his lips. The irony of the situation did not escape him. He, the Monster, wanted to be with the human, and yet the human, who actually possessed real emotions, did not want him.

It seemed like days before he finally reached the source of the sound of rushing water, looking down into the violently churning black water. The chill in the air was even worse here, and he wondered if he shouldn't have gone the other direction. With a sigh he realized it didn't matter in the least. His experiences were being controlled one way or the other. This was, after all, a punishment for disobeying his mistress and going to Lina's side. There was nothing he could do but wait it out.

Kneeling, he peered down into the water, barely able to make out his reflection in the dimness of the cavern. He extended an arm and disrupted the image with his index finger, not wanting to see the haggard look on his face. Just then he heard a noise behind him, the noise of something large moving through the system of caves, and he stood quickly, slipping on the rocks of the riverbank as he did so. A short, surprised cry left his throat and he desperately pulled on his magic to steady himself, but no magic came. His arms failed about in the air for a moment more, then he fell backwards into the icy, black river.

He surfaced with a splutter, clenching his teeth against the aching cold of the water, splashing about as he tried to stay afloat. He couldn't seem to keep his head above the rough water, constantly going under. The temperature of the water was far too low for him to bear, and cold numbness began to steal through his limbs, making them heavy. It was fortunate that he didn't actually need to breathe, for after a few moments he went under completely, bouncing off of the sharp rocks on the bottom of the river as the current carried him along. His struggles were useless; his strength was nearly completely drained. Suddenly he was launched into the air, a shout of fear ripping from his chest as he rocketed out into empty space, the water falling away beneath him. He had been swept right over the edge of a waterfall. The wind sped past his wet skin and he attempted to twist into a diving position, but it was too late. His skin had just enough feeling left in it that it hurt tremendously when he hit the surface of the water with a loud smack. He was plunged into the water once again, but before he could push his way back to the air he slipped away into darkness.

There was no telling how long he had walked, or how long they had kept him in this place. When he had awoken from his trip over the waterfall, he had found himself lying on the riverbank, covered in three feet of snow. He had wandered through frozen wastelands, climbed mountains, and crossed sheets of ice, all in order to try to find a way out. It was starting to concern him that he only was being confronted with physical hardship. Although he was miserable and cold, he really hadn't been caused much pain. The worst part, actually, was being so alone. It was almost amusing, his loneliness, since he had spent thousands of years working alone and had never thought twice about it. Now, however, he would have been very happy to have someone to talk to or torment. He supposed it was just another change the damned mortal woman had worked upon him.

After a while he encountered a blizzard. Snow whirled around his head and he raised his bare arms, squinting into the wind. Hugging the mountain for shelter, he began to walk along, searching for a place to wait out the storm. Something caught his attention and he froze, straining his senses to uncover some sort of further clue. There was nothing. . .Wait, there it was again, a dark shape out of the corner of his eye. Yes, there was another one! He backed up against the mountiainside, trying to call magic and once again failing. A scream left his throat as a steel rod about two inches in diameter pierced his shoulder, pinning him to the rock. Panting in pain, he reached up with his good arm and curled his fist around the stake, trying in vain to pull it out. Dammit, if he just had his magic!

"Time to move on," something whispered as an identical metal rod was driven into his other shoulder, then stars exploded in his vision and he knew no more.

He woke up in an indentical position, the stakes still piercing his shoulders and pinning him, but instead of the intense cold he was faced with blistering heat. He groaned and lifted a hand, his grip on the metal rod slippery with his Monster's black blood. Wincing, he glanced up at the cloudless sky, withering in the pitiless sun. A gasp left his throat as he tried to pull the stake from his shoulder, the metal hot against his skin. His parched lips moved soundlessly as he looked about, the land around him distorted from the heat radiating from the ground. The entire surface of his skin seemed stretched too tightly, as if it would split at any time, and he closed his eyes as a breeze stirred up sand. When the wind had passed, he opened his eyes and was finally able to see his surroundings. It appeared he was staked to a rather large rock in the middle of a desert.

Pain rocketed through his system as squirmed, trying to work himself free. Dammit, he hated when his physical body was assulted. It was very uncomfortable, and he found himself weakened considerably. After trying once again, and unsuccessfully, to pull the rods from his shoulders, he realized his only option was to try and slide off the other end of the rods. The metal stakes did not have barbs or fletching of any kind, just a solid shaft of smooth metal. Grunting against the agony that shot through his limbs he planted his bare feet against the hot rock behind him and pushed with all his might. He felt his physical body tear with the friction between his flesh and the metal, but still he pushed. It took him several minutes, but he eventually was able to set himself free, falling several feet to land in the sand, crumpled. He closed his eyes and let his cheek rest in the sand, his breath stirring up dust as he panted against the ground. "Damn it," he whispered to himself, and slowly pushed himself upright.

When the throbbing in his shoulders began to lessen, the wounds healing themselves rapidly, his vision clearned enough to ascertain his surroundings. Twisting, he looked at the place he had been pinned to the rock. The surface of the boulder was stained with his oily black blood, the drying liquid shining dully in the unrelenting sunlight. He brought a blistered hand up to his shoulder and fingered the wound gingerly, wincing as pain shot through his limb and chest. A look of cold determination settled on his face as he glared off into the endless wasteland, his hand still on his shoulder. They would pay for this. He would hunt every single one of those bastard underlings down and end them.

He sighed and stood up, squinting into the bright sunlight. Turning in a full circle, he realized he still had no idea where he was or where he was supposed to be going. Anger welled up inside of him, anger he should not have felt if he was a full Monster. He glanced at his wounds and realized they were almost completely healed, his physical body catching up with the condition of his astral one. Closing his eyes, he felt for his astral form. It seemed more or less whole, but oddly disconnected to him. His power was still blocked from him.

Not knowing what else to do, he set out wandering. He seriously doubted that even beings as unskilled as the underlings would have allowed him to find away out of this place they created for him, but he would search nonetheless. A frown crossed his face as he trudged forward, the sand searing the bottoms of his bare feet, wondering what possible lesson he was supposed to learn from the trials the underlings had put him through. As a Monster he could feel neither hunger nor thirst, which in his opinion were two of the most awful physical sensations of humanity. The heat and cold were certainly unpleasant, and drained his physical strength considerably, but he wouldn't call it torture. He would call being ripped away from Lina torture, or when he was first turned into a human. That had truly been torture. He still wasn't certain sometimes that he would have pulled through, finally coming to terms with the awful death creeping through the cells of his body, if Lina hadn't been there. Where was she now, he wondered, his beautiful, mortal Lina?


	9. Chapter 9

A/N: Insert usual disclaimer stuff here. This is the sequel to Penance and Pursuit of Merit.

Again, I went back and chopped this fic up into chapters. If you want to read the thing straight through, with no chapter divisions, just head on over to my site, Because I chopped it up, some of the chapter transitions may be strange. Sorry about that.

Reviews are always welcome and encouraged!

* * *

Four days later found him wandering still, his head bent beneath the brutal rays of the sun and feet dragging as he moved across the sands, squinting occasionally at one of the tall, red cliffs the area was dotted with. He hissed and touched his skin, burned by the constant sunlight, annoyed that he had been affected in such a manner. As a high-level Monster his physical body was really nothing more than a magical construct, and therefore he should have been able to smooth away the burns with a mere thought. Because his magic was blocked from him, however, he was roasting like a pig in the harsh sunlight. Lost in angry thought he stumbled in the sand, sinking to his knees in order to prevent from doing a facevault. Grunting, he steadied himself, and that was when he happened to look up. 

There were three bodies in the sand before him, two of them slightly bloated and all of them facedown. He stood and stumbled closer, eyes and ears straining to detect danger. Finding nothing, he approached the corpses, blinking rapidly in the bright light. A scowl marred his sharp features as he realized that he knew the people in the sand before him. They were Lina's cohorts.

With a shake of his head he knelt next to the nearest body, that of a young woman. Her eyes were closed, but an expression of unspeakable pain was on her face. Her entire body was slightly contorted, as if she had suffered much before she died. As he rolled her over further he saw the reason she had died. A large hole in her chest, now black with dried blood, gaped at him. The woman's heart was missing entirely. He raised an eyebrow and let her drop back into the sand, moving to the next corpse, the only one that was not slightly puffy in death. It was the chimera man. When Xellos rolled him over, he saw that Zelgadis had met the same fate as Amelia. The chimera's heart had been pulled out of his chest, only most of Zelgadis' ribcage was also missing. The expression on his face was one of anger. "So you never found your cure," Xellos whispered, letting the dead man fall back to his original position.

Then Xellos moved onto the last corpse, the blonde hair of the dead body waving like a golden banner in the dusty desert wind. A small smile graced his face at seeing Gourry's dead body. He was willing to bet that Lina had gone straight back to her previous lover after parting with him, and he was not sorry at all to see the man's lifeless form at his feet. He only wished he had been there to gain strentgh from the man's suffering and pain. "You appear to have made a mistake somewhere along the lines," he muttered, crouching down and grabbing a fistful of the body's silken mane, wrenching the head up cruelly. Gourry's face was a mask of sadness, however, not of pain or anger. His heart had also been removed, but his entire abdomen had been mangled in the process. Xellos found himself wondering if his heart had been removed before or after the rest of the damage had been done. Well, it was for the best, he supposed. At least they weren't trapped in the desert any longer. He glanced at the bodies again, wondering if he should do something about them. He knew humans buried their dead, or burned them. With a shrug he began to move on. Oh, they had been his traveling companions for a while, but as he was he didn't much care if they lived or died. Since they were already dead there wasn't anything he could do for them, nor was he inclined to. At least Lina's body hadn't been among the corpses. However, she usually wasn't too far from her friends. If she hadn't been killed, where was she?

He only took a few more steps before a figure stepped out from behind a rock, clothing torn and tattered, skin splattered with blood. "You," the newcomer hissed, and Xellos shaded his eyes with a hand to better see the speaker.

What he saw took his breath away. He slowly lowered his hands and held them in front of him, shaking. Fear raced through his system, fear that it was all a dream, that what he was seeing couldn't possibly be real. More un-Monsterly emotions swirled within him as well, almost out of his reach and beyond his awareness, but they were there nonetheless. Desperation was there, as was joy. He was certain that if he had still been human tears would have been running down his face. Extending his arms, he began to walk forward. "Lina!" he cried.

Flashing, ruby-colored eyes narrowed and she took a step back. "You stay away from me," she grated.

A slight frown furrowed his brow and he halted his advance. "But, Lina. . ."

"I don't want to hear a single word from your filthy mouth, Monster," Lina replied sharply.

"I'm sorry, I didn't want it to be this way. If I had the choice-"

"And how wasn't it your choice?" she snapped, tears forming in her eyes, breaking something within him.

He paused, searching her face for anything that hinted at what they once shared, but her features held as much warmth for him as granite. "It was my mistress," he murmured, lowering his arms. He hadn't seen her for so long, for so very long, and yet this reunion was a far cry from what he had expected. Xellos was suddenly glad for the emotional death being a Monster provided. If he had still been human his heart would have been breaking. As it was, he found he could dispassionately take a step back and analyze her actions. Of course she was hurt, of course she was angry. She had been torn away from him and suffered for it just as much as he had been torn away from her.

"I SAW you!" Lina screamed. "I watched you kill them!"

Xellos' eyes opened wide and he looked over his shoulder at the corpses that lay a few meters away. "What?" he asked, surprised. "What are you talking about?"

She raised a hand an gestured at her dead friends. "I watched as you took them one by one and pulled their still-beating hearts from their bodies! You killed Amelia first, taking us by surprise, and then Zel next when he tried to fight you. You took the longest killing Gourry. You tried to make him scream, make him beg, but he wouldn't. Not in front of me, and not for you."

He stood perfectly still, dumbfounded, as her entire body began to shake, tears pouring from her eyes. "But I just got here," he whispered, walking to her, wanting to press her head to his chest and let her cry out all her rage and pain. As he came closer he saw that she had sustained her own wounds. "Lina, who did this to you?" he asked, reaching out and touching her.

She wound up and punched him in the face as hard as she could, his head snapping back with the force. He blinked and looked at her as if nothing had happened, and watched as her expression went from one of anger to one of fear. "You did," she snarled. "You hurt me and killed my friends. You killed the man I love!"

Something cold formed in the pit of Xellos' chest as he turned once more towards the corpses, his gaze falling on the body of fhe blonde swordsman. "Gourry?"

"Of course! He's the only man I ever loved!" Lina choked, sobbing. "There was always only Gourry in my heart."

Xellos felt the cold lump within him grow larger. She had always loved Gourry; he knew that. There was no room for him in her heart. Well, he could understand that. After all, he couldn't love her as a Monster. Such feelings did not exist for his kind. Still, he felt something for her, because even as she spoke he was saddened by the pain he heard in her voice. He didn't want anything to hurt Lina, ever. "I didn't do this," he murmured.

"I watched you do it," Lina hissed, wiping at her eyes with the back of a tattered glove. "I saw you do it, heard you laughing."

"It wasn't me," he protested, hands curling into fists.

Lina scowled at him and brought her hands together. "LIAR!" she screamed, and began launching spells at him. He gasped and twisted out of the way, barely able to avoid her fireball, landing in the sand. She released a volley of flare arrows, and he narrowly missed being skewered. He reached desperately for his power, but none was there. It hovered just out of his grasp, throbbing against its containment.

"Listen to me, Lina!" he shouted, diving behind a rock for cover.

"Everything you say is a lie!" she yelled, releasing another attack.

He closed his eyes and covered his head with his arms, stones raining down upon him. He heard the flapping of fabric above him and turned, staring as Lina launched herself into the air. The sound of a spell being chanted reached his ears and he gasped, scrambling across the sand. "No, Lina!" he screamed, holding out a hand as the Ragna Blade came into being. She let loose a roar and he shut his eyes, clenching his teeth and calling one last time upon his power. Suddenly it was there, and his staff came into being in his hands just in time to block the Ragna Blade. Sweat began to bead on his brow as he fought her strike, slowly fighting his way to standing beneath the crushing might of her spell. "Stop this, Lina," he grunted.

She gasped and staggered back, the Ragna Blade crackling in her hand. "No! Not until you're dead!"

Xellos watched the black energy writhe in her hand. "You know you can't control that spell for long, Lina! Please, don't do this!"

"I don't care if I die. I'm taking you with me," she snarled, launching herself at him again.

He understood then why the underlings had put him through so much pysical stress. They must have been the ones to kill Lina's friends and made her hate him, and because he was so exhausted from his trials he had little to no control over his own spells. They wanted someone to die. His vision swam from the effort of summoning his staff, and he shook his head to clear it. The damage from the torture and the harships he had endured in the land of ice and the desert were taking their toll on him. He was having a difficult time standing upright, let alone fight. "This is a mistake," he murmured, watching her come at him with her spell with an odd detachment. Instinct took over as she slashed at him, his conscious mind rapidly losing ground. He parried and dodged and threw up defensive spells left and right until he was so tired he could barely stand. Blackness loomed at the corners of his vision and he saw her charge him again, screaming pain and rage at the top of her lungs. He shut his eyes and flung his staff up in front of him, hoping to steer her off to his right, but instead felt a searing pain in his shoulder as the Ragna Blade pierced him. Warm fluid spurted everywhere, and his right hand felt oddly warm. Opening his eyes, he was nearly blinded by dark energy, Nightmare energy, slicing through his shoulder. The blade within him was not moving however, and he squinted through the crackling magic at Lina.

She was staring at him, hate burning in her ruby eyes, a snarl on her face as blood trickled out of the corner of her mouth. Xellos gasped as he looked down at his hand, covered with her red blood. He watched, paralyzed with fear, as the Ragna Blade faded out of existence and he could finally see his arm. Lina grunted and placed her hands on his forearm, slowly pushing herself off of his staff. His eyes widened with horror as he wached the wood of his staff slowly appear from inside her abdomen, blood pouring down the front of her tunic from where her abdomen had been pierced. "Damn you," she gurgled, crumpling to the ground as she freed herself.

"No," Xellos whispered, staring at his bloodied hand and ignoring the pain that his shoulder was sending through his entire system.  
Lina coughed, sending a spray of blood into the air. "I almost had you," she wheezed.

Xellos flung his staff away from him, face stricken. He crawled over to her and gathered her up in his arms. "Oh, no," he whispered, feeling the hollowness inside him expand. "This can't be happening."

"You won," she snarled, pushing against his bare chest feebly. "I can't believe you won."

"Oh, Lina dearest, I'm sorry," he said softly, pressing his lips to her dusty, matted bangs. "I'm so sorry."

"Shut up," she growled. "I don't want to hear your poisoned words. You deserve to die for what you did to us."

"No, please, don't leave me. I don't want to be without you again," he choked, pressing her against him, heedless of the way her blood stained his skin. "I can save you. Pledge to me and let me save you."

"No. I hate you, Xellos," she whispered, glaring up at him. "I'll hate you forever. I'd rather be dead than look upon your face again."

"Please don't say that, please."

"Forever," she grated, and the flame of life in her eyes died.

"Lina?" he cried, looking down into her rage-twisted face. "Lina?"

He shook her gently, but there was no response. "LINA!" he screamed, closing his eyes and burying his face in her hair. "No!"

He wasn't sure what was worse, holding her dead body in his arms and knowing there was nothing he could do about it, or the empty, emotionless void that he, as a Monster, was filled with. He wanted to cry so desperately, to rid himself of the aching sorrow that lurked just beyond his awareness, but his race was incapable of such things. "No," he whispered, clutching her body and rocking back and forth. "No. . ."

For two days and nights he held her to him, his voice hoarse from saying her name and eyes blank with disbelief. She was gone from him forever, and she had died with hate in her heart. Hate from anyone else would have tasted sweet to him, but as it was, her hate was the most bitter taste he had ever experienced. The world around him slipped away, and he was left with nothing but Lina's dead body in his arms, her flesh cold against his.

"Xellos, come away from there," he heard a gentle voice behind him say.

"No," he replied, curling his body around Lina's protectively.

"She's gone, pup. It's far too late."

"I won't."

He heard a sigh and a hand on his shoulder. "Xellos, your mortal woman is dead. We can't bring her back or undo what has been done."

"But, Lina, she. . ."

"I know she was precious to you. Keep her memory, but put the past behind you."

Xellos blinked up at the speaker, surprised to see Greater Beast Xellas looking down at him. "Mistress," he whispered.

"I have come for you," she said gently. "I want to take you away from this place. You have to leave her behind."

"I don't want to leave her again."

"There is nothing you can do for her anymore."

"But-"

"Shhh," Xellas interrupted him, kneeling and gently taking Lina's body from his arms. He grasped at her and tried to grab Lina's wrist, but Xellas was too quick for him. "Here, let us commend her body to the air," his mistress said, looking down at him with her cool, golden eyes.

"I. . ."

"This is how you can say goodbye," Xellas said, balancing Lina as she took Xellos' hand and pulled him up to standing. She put Lina back into his arms. "Do it, my child."

Xellos swallowed and looked one last time into Lina's face. "Go, now, woman who meant everything to me," he whispered, and gently called upon his magic. "Find rest. Forgive me." He muttered a few words and her body turned to dust, the particles borne away by the wind and across the muted evening tones of the desert. "Goodbye, Lina Inverse," he whispered, and the hollness within him grew.

Xellas turned to him and inclined her head solemnly. "Are you ready to go home, now? Are you prepared to begin your duties once again?"

Xellos looked at her and nodded. "Yes, Mistress."

Xellas smiled, the expression cool. "There is nothing tying you to the mortal world now, Xellos. You can finally let it go. You can become a full Monster once again."

Xellos didn't have the courage to tell her that things would never be the same again. Instead he stepped into her embrace, closing his eyes and leaning into her as she transported them both home.

Xellos' eyes fluttered open and he felt very groggy as he gently pushed away from Xellas' bosom. The chill of the stone chamber seemed refreshing at first when compared to the heat of the desert, but soon he became cold. Xellas wrapped her mantle over his shoulders and slid off of the stone slab, standing and placing her hand around his chin. She maneuvered his head so that she could look into his eyes, then nodded once. "Welcome back," she murmured. "They treated you badly, and I apologize for that. Please do with them as you see fit."

Xellos glanced around to see several underlings huddling in the corners of the room. "As you wish, Mistress," he whispered with cold anticipation.

"Then I suggest you retreat to the astral plane for a bit. You are weak and must recover."

"Yes, Mistress," he said, swinging his legs over the edge of the stone slab. He watched her move to the door of the room, then pause.

"Xellos, I'm sorry for everything you have been through. I would do things differently, if given the chance."

"Of course," he replied, bowing as well as he could from his seat.

She examined him one last time and left the room.

Xellos sighed and stretched, feeling remarkably normal. So long as he didn't think of Lina's death he found that he felt almost completely Monster again. It was sort of refreshing, not to have the myriad emotions lurking at the edges of his perception, just out of reach. He slid down from the slab, scowling slightly as the soles of his feet came into contact with the cold stone floor, and looked around at the cowering underlings in the room. "Hello, fellows," he said, donning his characteristic, closed-eyes smile.

"W-welcome back," one managed to stammer.

Xellos' smile widened marginally and he raised a hand. "Thank you," he said softly, snapping his fingers. His smile turned into a half-grin as the underlings collectively screamed, obliterated. When only charred smudges on the floor served as their remains, Xellos turned and examined the room. Strange, everything seemed centered on this one room. Something was not right. Deciding not to think about it, Xellos shrugged and teleported to his room. His mistress was right about one thing. He definitely needed some rest.


	10. Chapter 10

A/N: Insert usual disclaimer stuff here. This is the sequel to Penance and Pursuit of Merit.

Again, I went back and chopped this fic up into chapters. If you want to read the thing straight through, with no chapter divisions, just head on over to my site, Because I chopped it up, some of the chapter transitions may be strange. Sorry about that.

Reviews are always welcome and encouraged!

* * *

Filia's head snapped up as she felt the dark presence materialize out of nowhere. Standing up straight, she looked about the kitchen, seeing nothing. A frown settled on her brow and she concentrated, searching. Whatever it might be was very strong and very close.

"Mama, what's that?" Val said, trotting into the kitchen. "Do you feel that?"

"Yes, honey," Filia said, glancing down at the child wrapped in a sling around her torso. The baby stirred and blinked up at her as if wondering what all the commotion was. "Val, I want you to stick close to me and be ready to take the baby and run, okay?"

"Do you think it's bad?" Val asked, golden eyes wide as he curled his fists in Filia's skirt.

"I think so," Filia murmured. "We're going to go to the front window and see."

"Is it the baby's mama?" Val asked, still clutching her skirts as they moved stealthily into the living room.

"No, I'm pretty sure it isn't," Filia whispered. "Now be quiet, please."

Val nodded, face somber and wary.

Filia peered out the window and saw a tall, dark figure standing a few hundred meters away from her cottage. Black robes fluttered about the person in the wind, and a large ruby set in the end of a staff shone in the sunlight. "Oh, no," Filia murmured, clutching the baby to her, eyes widening in fear. What was she going to do? There was no way she could fight off Xellos, and she was certain he meant harm. The evil was rolling off of him in waves, much more strongly than it ever had before. The carefree nature of his evil had disappeared entirely, and she shivered in the chill his energy was putting off.

"Mama, where did he go?" Val whispered, tugging on her skirt.

Filia gasped and returned her attention to the figure only to find that he had vanished. Cold sweat beaded along her hairline and she looked around the house, frantic. Her heart began to pound in her chest and she felt terror steal through her chest, making her breath come in short, frightened brusts.

Then someone knocked on the door.

"Mama, I'm scared," Val whimpered, hiding behind her skirts.

"I know, honey," she murmured, reaching around and smoothing his sea-green hair. "Don't worry. I'll protect you."

"And I'll protect you," Val replied earnestly.

Filia smiled in spite of her fear at the little boy's bravery. If it were anyone but Xellos she knew that Val could actually defeat them. Ancient dragons were very strong, even at a young age. However, none of them had the slightest chance of beating Xellos. She was about to say something else when the knock came again at the front door, the sound more commanding than before.

"Should I get the door?" Val asked her, golden eyes curious and frightened at the same time.

"Wh-who is it?" Filia called, the blood draining from her face.

"May I come in?" came the polite reply.

"I don't know if it's a good idea," Filia said loudly, at a total loss.

"I think it's a better idea than refusing, for all involved," the voice on the other side of the door said.

"Come in," Filia replied after one long, heart-stopping moment, her voice shaking. "It's open."

Her heart pounded in her chest and she stared in fear as the knob turned, the latch clicked open, and the door slowly swung inward. In the doorway stood Xellos, looking exactly like she had last seen him, save for the expression on his face. For a split second he looked at her, slitted eyes boring into her, his face cold and menacing before falling back into the ambiguous smile he always seemed to wear. "Hello," he said, tones not as bright as she remembered them. "I think you made the right decision."

"What do you want?" she blurted, panic rising within her. Xellos was different somehow, but she couldn't put her finger on it.

"I mean you no harm," he replied, leaning his staff against the wall and spreading his gloved hands before him. "If you cooperate, that is."

"No one is gonna hurt my mama!" Val cried, darting out from behind Filia's skirt.

"Val, no!" Filia gasped, trying to snatch up the child and failing.

Val let loose a feral snarl and sank his sharp teeth into Xellos' thigh, growling and biting. Xellos paused and opened his eyes, blinking down at the child gnawing on him. "Oh, I see you still have little Valgaav in your care," he said mildly.

Filia blushed as she watched Val tear at Xellos' leg, horribly embarrassed. "It's just Val," she said quickly. "Val, stop it!"

Xellos smiled down at the child, no real humor in the expression but no anger either, and tore the boy from his leg, which took some effort and time. He hoisted Val up by the back of his shirt and looked straight into his face. Val growled and took a few swings at Xellos, but the Monster simply held him out at arm's length. "Strong little fellow," he said nonchalantly. "A tad unmannered, though."

"Val, stop it this instant!" Filia said. "You shouldn't attack people unprovoked!"

Xellos gently set the child down on his feet and nudged him towards Filia. "You should listen to her, little Val," he said, his expression falling back into his normal one. "After all, it isn't a good idea to provoke someone else, especially when you don't know what his or her capabilities are."

Val snapped at Xellos one last time and scurried to Filia's side. "Don't you hurt my mama," he growled.

"I won't hurt your mother," Xellos said with a sigh. "I'm just here for information."

"What do you want to know?" Filia said sharply.

Xellos sighed and sat down in the nearest chair, lounging as if he had lived there for years. "Why don't we discuss it over tea?" he said. "I would really like you to calm down."

"No. Just ask what you will and get out."

Xellos shook his head and clicked his tongue. "Now, now, Miss Filia. Where are your manners?"

"I have no desire to be polite to a Monster," she snapped. "Now what do you want?"

A strange expression flitted over his features for a moment and he pursed his lips before his smile returned. The observation made her pause; Xellos was obviously having a difficult time maintaining his control. "Lina was here about six months ago," he stated flatly.

Filia was silent for a while before nodding. "Yes, she was."

Xellos leaned forward in his chair, steepling his fingers. "Why?"

"Why what?"

A slight scowl marred his pleasant features. "What was she doing here? What was happening to her? Why was she in so much pain?"

"I don't think she'd want me to tell you," Filia said. "I would if I could, but I'm not supposed to."

Xellos stood up, the benign mask he wore disappearing in an instant. "You are mistaken if you think you have a choice in the matter," he said quietly.

Val roared and latched himself onto Xellos' other leg, breaking the heavy, danger-laced mood. He growled and whipped his head back and forth like a dog, tearing a hole in the fabric of Xellos' trousers. "Val!" Filia shouted, horrified.

"Now you are provoking me, little one," Xellos said, watching Val tear at his leg but making no move to stop him.

"You be nice to Mama! She was just trying to help Miss Lina!" Val snapped.

"Do you have a boot or something else he could chew on?" Xellos asked curtly. "I am beginning to find this bothersome."

"Just you wait until you have kids," Filia growled, then gasped and clamped her hands over her mouth.

Xellos noticed her reaction and turned his attention towards her, ignorning the boy chewing on his leg. "What's that tied around your chest?" he asked softly.

"Laundry," Filia blurted.

"That's an odd way to carry laundry. Laundry often doesn't move of its own accord."

"Maybe a lizard got into the wash," she stammered.

His eyes opened a fraction, glistening slits in the flawless skin of his face. "Don't lie to me, Filia. It's unbecoming, even of an ex-priestess."

"Why do you care?" she replied. "You're a Monster!"

"Now, again, but not always," he murmured. "Now show me what you have wrapped up there."

"No," Filia gasped, but was too paralyzed by fear to stop him as he reached forward.

"Don't you touch the baby!" Val howled, and Xellos flinched as the boy bit him savagely.

Xellos moved as if he was going to snatch up the boy and rend him limb from limb, but stopped in midmotion and stared at Filia. "Baby?"

"Lina was here because she was pregnant, Xellos. She didn't want anyone to know about it, but she knew she couldn't be alone during such a time, so she came to me. I could heal her if anything happened, and I live far enough away from everyone else that no one would find her here."

"Lina's. . .baby?" he whispered.

"Yes," Filia said, squeezing her eyes shut as tears began to leak from the corners.

"I lost her," Xellos said, reaching down and picking up Val. The boy struggled, but Xellos was too strong for him. "I lost Lina."

"I'm sorry for that, but I can't let you see it," Filia said, starting to cry in earnest.

"Filia, please," he replied, and the tone of his voice was so raw that she hazarded a look at him. He looked torn, as if he was on the verge of something but couldn't manage to push past a barrier. Glancing from the boy to Filia, he set Val on the ground. "Go to your mother, Val. I promise I won't hurt her. Sometimes adults just get upset at one another."

"Come here, Val," Filia said before Xellos could continue. She knelt and put her hands on either side of the boy's face. "Don't attack him any more. Mister Xellos and I are going to talk, so you just go upstairs to your room."

"But, Mama-"

"No buts. Please just do it."

Val's lower lip stuck out in a pout, but before long he was clomping up the stairs, obviously miffed but obeying nonetheless. "He means the world to you, doesn't he?" Xellos said softly.

"Maybe," Filia said, narrowing her eyes, then blushing as Xellos came forward suddenly. His hands parted the fabric of her wrap and exposed the wide-eyed baby's face.

"By the depths of hell," he breathed, eyes opening. "This is my baby!"

"That's what Lina told me," Filia said, utterly defeated. There was no turning back now. She watched as his long fingers ran over the baby's thick, dark hair, the same color as his. Two pairs of amethyst eyes met, one set human, the other most decidedly not. "She didn't want to keep her, but I couldn't bring myself to give her up for adoption."

"It's a girl?"

"Yes. I kept her, hoping that Lina would someday come back for her."

Xellos' face hardened and he looked Filia straight in the eye. "She won't," he said matter-of-factly.

"What? Why not?"

"I don't want to discuss it," Xellos said, pulling off a glove and tracing the roundness of the baby's cheek. "What's her name?"

Filia swallowed hard. "She doesn't have one. Lina wouldn't name her."

"And you never did?"

"It didn't seem right. . ."

Xellos looked down at his daughter for long moments, the only sound in the room the breathing of the two mortals. "Lecia," he finally said.

"What?"

"That's her name. Lecia Inverse."

"Lecia," Filia murmured, looking down tenderly at the baby. "That's a lovely name."

"I'm glad you approve. Now please hand her over."

Filia's eyes widened and she stared at Xellos, slack-jawed. "What?"

"She's my daughter. Please give her to me. I'll be taking her now."

"But, but-"

"Filia, I think you know that it would be unwise to cross me," he said, features hardening.

"But she's a mortal, Xellos!"

That strange expression passed over his face again and he sighed. "Listen, how would you feel if someone wouldn't let you have Val back? He's your child, isn't he? He might not be of your blood, but he's yours nonetheless, correct?"

Filia examined Xellos' eyes, watching him as some sort of conflict waged within him. That's what was wrong- Xellos' balance seemed off! It was if he had been split somehow, and he was at war. . . "Yes," she said gently.

"Well, Filia, I was human at one point in time, and I wouldn't trade that time for anything. Lecia is all I have left from that, and I would like to have her."

"Xellos, I don't know if this is a good idea."

"She's my family, Filia!" he said. "Can you really deny someone their family?"

She eyed him warily, unsure if he was sincere or if it was another of his Monster's tricks. Could she really entrust the child to his care? On the one hand, she could never want for a stronger protector, but on the other, how would the child fare without human interaction? "Will you love her?" she whispered at last.

"Monsters can't love," he murmured, his face looking oddly pained, and she realized that she was getting the honest truth from Xellos for the first time. "But I can treasure her, and I shall."

"It's a big step. Babies are a lot of work, especially human ones. Even with his occasional uncontrollable transformation and tantrums, Val was a lot easier baby than she is."

"May I hold her?" Xellos asked, and his tone of voice nearly broke her heart.

"I suppose. Support her head," Filia said. "She's old enough that she can sit up on her own, but you still need to be careful."

"I will be," Xellos murmured, gently taking the child from Filia. His face was filled with disbelief as he held the baby girl against his chest, looking down into her face. "Hello, little one," he cooed. "I'm your father."

The baby made a noise and reached up, taking a fistful of hair and yanking. Filia winced and reached out to take the hair from the girl, but Xellos simply smiled. "Don't bother. It doesn't hurt me at all. Remember, Monsters don't feel that sort of pain that easily."

"Okay," Filia said, watching with concern.

He closed his eyes and pressed his nose against the baby's head, inhaling deeply. "She smells wonderful," he murmured.

Filia felt tears come unbidden to her eyes as she watched Xellos look over his daughter. She would have never thought that a Monster could be so tender and gentle, but he was treating his daughter as if she was the most precious thing he had ever seen. Suddenly there was no doubt in her mind that Xellos would do his best for the little girl, a thought she found odd. It seemed that his time as a human had deeply affected him, and he was still affected by it. Perhaps he was still human enough to raise the girl well. She smiled to herself and wiped at her eyes. Well, he was probably more human than she was. It was obvious to her that Xellos missed Lina deeply, and she knew that he had loved her. Xellos had loved Lina very, very much. "You can take her," Filia said softly. "Besides, you know I couldn't stop you if I wanted to."

"I do know," Xellos replied, not taking his eyes off of his daughter. "She's so perfect, so utterly perfect, and she's mine."

"Well, I suppose this is late, but congratulations," Filia said, smoothing the girl's hair.

Xellos nodded and turned away, holding the child close. "Thank you," he said softly, and before she could reply, he was gone.


	11. Chapter 11

A/N: Insert usual disclaimer stuff here. This is the sequel to Penance and Pursuit of Merit.

Again, I went back and chopped this fic up into chapters. If you want to read the thing straight through, with no chapter divisions, just head on over to my site, Because I chopped it up, some of the chapter transitions may be strange. Sorry about that.

Reviews are always welcome and encouraged!

* * *

He rematerialized in the corridors of Xellas' stronghold, striding through the halls. That he would get in trouble for his actions was almost a sure thing, but Xellas had never forbade him from seeking out information on what had happened the day he was dragged away from Lina. If she became upset then so be it. She would have to kill him to make him give up his daughter. A few underlings tried to get in his way as he strode toward the main chamber, but he merely blasted them out of existence and continued onward. He burst through the door of the throne room, plowing over and through anything that got in his way. Marching right up to the base of Xellas' throne, he knelt and bowed to her.

"What is the meaning of this, Xellos?" Beastmaster asked, looking down at him with an arched eyebrow.

"I am requesting leave," he said curtly.

"I thought all this nonsense was finished," she said with a sigh. "What more can I do for you, pup? Have I failed so badly in my mission to rehabilitate you?"

Xellos clenched his jaw at the word "rehabilitate," but kept calm and presented his baby to Xellas. "I request leave in order to take care of my daughter."

A general gasp rose from the surrounding Monsters, and any sort of punishment he might receive was worth the stunned look on Xellas' flawless features. "Your what?" she said carefully.

"It seems that when I was a human I fathered a child."

"A human child?"

"That's generally what results when two humans reproduce," he replied, unable to keep the smugness from his tone.

"With whom?"

"I present to you Lecia Inverse," he said in return, and she blinked at him.

"Ah, with that Lina woman," she finally muttered. "It all becomes very clear to me."

"I knew it would, Mistress."

Xellas studied him for long moments, fingers toying with long strands of her silver-gold hair. "This is a most interesting development," she murmured, drumming the fingers of her opposite hand on the armrest of her throne. Gradually a thin smile appeared on her face and she nodded. "Very well, Master Xellos. Your request has been granted."

"Thank you, Mistress," he murmured, and his thanks were sincere. "You will not regret this."

"I know," she said with a smile, and he teleported to his room.

After a couple of hours, Lecia became testy. Xellos gently rocked her, holding her up so she could see off his balcony and out to the ocean. He glanced around his well-appointed room, wondering where he should put the crib. It seemed unreal to him that Xellas would actually give him leave to do as he wished. No other Monster had ever been granted such a favor. Something did not sit right with him, and the sensation reminded him of when he had first awoken on the slab after his punishment. It was odd, but when he had visited Filia, she didn't seem to be in mourning over Lina's death at all. In fact, it was as if she knew nothing about it. Hadn't the dragon told him that she wished Lina would come back and claim the girl-child? How could Lina possibly do that if she was dead?

Lecia cried and latched onto his cloak, beginning to wail in earnest. He looked down at her with alarm, unaware that such a small creature could make such an enormous, piercing noise. "What is it, little one?" he asked her, bouncing her more vigorously. "What do you need?"  
Lecia answered with more vehement cries, her pink, toothless gums exposed as she wailed her discontent. Xellos frowned at her and tried to remember all the processes his physical body had gone through. As a human he had needed sleep, to eliminate waste, fluids, and food. Perhaps one of these was her problem.

He first checked the cloth of her diaper, but found nothing. She didn't seem sleepy, but really didn't know how to tell. It had to be hunger. "Poor thing," he murmured, pressing his lips against her forehead as she flailed her chubby arms about. It was then he realized he had no idea what sort of foods she ate, or how she even could eat anything without teeth. He also realized that he had no clue as to how to refasten her diaper. Muttering under his breath, he laid her back down on the table and tied a few knots, hoping it would hold. He bounced her gently as he tried to figure out what to do, but she just cried even harder. "Oh, don't be upset, little one!" he cooed, walking around the room. He was about to head for Filia's when something caught his eye. It was golden in color, glittering from a pile of clothes near his bed. He opened a hand and summoned the object to him, gasping as a sense of Lina filled him. It was the ring, the amurium ring! Suddenly many things came together and he shook his head. Lecia let out a head-splitting cry and he clutched her to him. "You come first," he muttered, and disappeared into thin air.

"Hi," he said, returning to the physical plane in Filia's kitchen.

She spun around with a shriek, a palm pressed to her chest. "Xellos! What are you doing here?"

He smiled his customary smile and held out Lecia. "I'm afraid this didn't come with instructions," he said. "I was hoping you would help me."

"I warned you," Filia grumbled, turning back to her cooking. "They're a lot of work."

"Well, my mistress gave me some time off work to readjust," he said simply, glancing at the crying child. "Can you tell me what's wrong with her?"

Filia sighed and took the baby. "Probably. I was very upset when you took off without any of the supplies she needs, but I figured you'd be back."

"You have a spare room, don't you?"

Filia blinked, looking up at him as Lecia began to suck on her finger. "Yes, but why?"

Xellos smiled broadly in return.

"Ohhhh, no you don't," she growled, turning away from him. "You are NOT staying here."

"Why not? You can teach me to take care of Lecia," he said, teleporting to sit on the counter next to the stove.

"Because. You're a Monster. I don't want you here."

Xellos smiled his most charming smile. "But this way you get to see Lecia, and make sure I'm taking good care of her. Who knows what would happen, otherwise?"

He grinned inwardly as he saw uncertainty blossom across Filia's features. Good, she was at least considering his idea at the moment. He had bet on the fact that Filia had become attached to the child, and it looked as if his guess had been correct. "Well, I still don't need you around here making trouble. A child dragon and a human baby are enough trouble. I don't need to babysit a Monster, either."

Xellos hopped off the counter and bowed. "Miss Filia, I will be of no trouble at all. I will even assist you in your household chores."

"Oh, right, like you have any idea what that's like," she growled.

He came up to her and put a gloved finger to her lips, opening his eyes and turning the full force of his gaze upon her. "You keep forgetting, my dear, that I was a human for almost an antire year. I lived with Lina for all but a few weeks of that time. Do you really think it was her that did the cooking, cleaning, and managing of the household?"

Filia blinked and blushed, moving away from his touch. "No, I suppose not," she grumbled. "Fine, you can stay, but the second you start being lazy, you're out of here!"

"I'm not asking you to be my friend, or my caretaker," he replied. "I'm only asking you to teach me how to keep my child healthy. She's all I have left of Lina."

Filia sighed, looking down at the baby, whose cries had died down to whimpers. "She's hungry," she finally said.

"I figured," Xellos said with a nod. "But what do babies eat?"

"Well, if they have their mother, they nurse."

Xellos immediately pictured Lecia at her mother's breast and blushed. "Oh, I see. How will I feed her, then?"

"I've been using this powdered concoction the midwife gave me," Filia said. "Here, I'll do it once, and you watch. Later you can do it yourself."

Xellos nodded and took Lecia as Filia went over to a cupboard and took out a canister filled with powder. She mixed the powder with milk and put it in a bottle. Xellos handed Lecia over and Filia put the bottle in her mouth, Lecia's pink baby fingers grasping at the glass. "Make sure you hold her just right," Filia murmured. Xellos watched the whole process like a hawk, memorizing every slight detail.

"How often will she need to eat?"

"Oh, every few hours. She'll generally let you know, but it wouldn't be a bad idea to shoot for some sort of schedule."

"I understand."

Filia smiled and handed Lecia back to him, making sure he held her correctly. "She'll probably be able to start eating solid foods soon."

"I shall stay until that happens, then," Xellos declared, closing his eyes and feeling his daughter's breath against his neck.

"Thanks for asking," Filia growled.

"You're back!" a high voice said, and the two adults looked down to see Val barrel into the room. He came to a stop at Xellos' feet and stared up at the Monster. "Are you really her daddy?" the child asked.

Xellos smiled, the first genuine smile he had felt cross his face in a very long time. "Yes, I am."

"Then why didn't you come get her sooner?" Val asked, tugging on Xellos' cloak.

"Yes, Xellos, where were you?" Filia echoed, eyebrow raised.

The smile fell away from his face and all the hollow coldness rose within him once again. "I was detained," he said stiffly. "I don't think the children need to hear it."

Filia's eyes widened fractionally, but he noticed she was smart enough to drop the subject for the time being. "You know, I don't think Lecia can really understand what you're saying yet."

He looked down at his baby, feeling the hollowness recede just a bit when he took in the sight of her. "She's my child, and Lina's child. This girl will understand what we say long before she's capable of letting us know she understands."

Filia sighed and gestured to Val. The boy trotted over to her and stood still as she wiped at smudges on his face. "Get cleaned up for dinner, honey," she said, and the child went running. Filia smiled at Xellos, the expression mischevious. "I trust you won't raise her with Lina's table manners," she said archly.

"Oh, goodness, most certainly not," Xellos said with a shudder, looking down at Lecia. His face softened and he rocked her slowly, watching as her eyes drooped shut.

"With any luck she'll sleep through dinner. Put her down and give me a hand."

"I'm not ready to do that yet," he murmured.

"You mean you haven't set her down since you left here earlier?"

"No, of course not. Why would I do that?" he asked, confused.

"You can't hold her all the time!"

He cocked his head to the side. "Why not? I don't need to eat or sleep. I could hold her around the clock."

Filia growled, but smiled nonetheless. "Well, I'll say that hearing you say that makes me feel a bit more comfortable with the situation. Still, you need to let her sleep on her own and whatnot or she'll never develop normally. You can hold her for now, but I'll want your help with the dishes after dinner. If she wakes up by then, Val is more than capable of watching her for a little while."

Xellos nodded. "Okay. Until then."


	12. Chapter 12

A/N: Insert usual disclaimer stuff here. This is the sequel to Penance and Pursuit of Merit.

Again, I went back and chopped this fic up into chapters. If you want to read the thing straight through, with no chapter divisions, just head on over to my site, Because I chopped it up, some of the chapter transitions may be strange. Sorry about that.

Reviews are always welcome and encouraged!

* * *

Several hours later the children were in bed and Xellos sat in his shirtsleeves by the fire, his cloak and boots stowed by the door. Filia came in with tea and handed him a cup, taking the seat opposite him. "Detained, eh?" she said.

He felt his face harden and nodded. "Yes."

Filia sighed and stirred her tea. "I never thought you'd be sitting in my parlor, sipping tea and talking like old friends."

"Yes, you haven't called me raw garbage once since I've been here," he commented, taking a drink.

"Well, I've learned a lot since then, like sometimes there's no line between good and evil. Sometimes things just are how they are."

"Good philosophy to have," he murmured, taking another sip. He would never admit it, but Filia's tea was always quite tasty.

He watched her pause and stare into her cup, as if hoping to make some sort of divination. "I have a lot of questions, Xellos," she whispered. "You and Lina just flew into my life, asking favors but not explaining anything. I feel stupid asking you, of all people, for some straight answers, but I really don't have a choice."

Xellos sighed, wondering how much he wanted her to know. One could never tell when another person's ignorance would come in handy. Still, he probably wouldn't get the information he wanted from her unless he gave her what she wanted. Perhaps a fair trade would be best, in the situation. "I'll tell you the truth, if you answer my questions as well," he said slowly.

"You go first, then," she said, locking his eyes with hers.

"Do you know if Lina is alive?"

Filia blinked. "What? Why would she be dead? Has something happened?"

Xellos cleared his throat. "I thought I had killed her."

Filia dropped her cup, but he managed to dart forward and catch it before it hit the floor. "What?" she stammered, eyes wide and frightened. "You killed Lina?"

"I assume from your reaction that you heard no such thing."

"No. . . Oh Xellos, how could you?"

"I didn't do it on purpose!" he said sharply, feeling his internal balance tip once again. "In fact, I'm not sure it happened at all."

"I'm not following you."

"I'll get to that. Do me a favor first." He set down his cup and saucer and reached inside his pocket, drawing out the ring. "Touch it, and tell me if you can feel anything."

"Is this-"

"Touch it," Xellos commanded, watching Filia flinch at his tone of voice. She reached out gingerly and grazed the metal with her bare fingers, then recoiled as if she had been bitten. "Well? Did you feel anything?"

"It was like. . .Someone. . . I wasn't alone inside my head," she replied haltingly.

Xellos immediately tore off his glove and clutched the ring against his bare palm, closing his eyes and concentrating. Yes! She was there! He had been afraid that the ring would be silent, but Filia had felt it! He could feel it, too. It was faint to him, with his deadened emotional senses, but it was there nonetheless. A sigh of relief escaped him and he pressed the end of his fist to his forehead. "She's alive, Filia. I didn't kill her," he murmured.

"I don't understand," she said, leaning foward in her chair, the firelight playing off of her worried features.

Xellos reached into his pocket and pulled out an orihalcon chain, sliding it through the ring before fastening the whole thing around his neck and dropping it down the front of his shirt. "Obviously Lina told you something when she was here," he said softly, staring into the fire.

"Some. Not much. Just who the father was, and how that was possible. Xellos, what are those rings? They're not like anything I've ever seen. Lina has one, too, and I saw hers light up when you showed up."

"She called to me, whether she meant to or not, and through the rings I felt her pain. I thought she was in trouble. I never knew she was giving birth. I didn't even know she was with child. I abandoned a mission to go to her, and I have spent the time since that day living out my punishment."

"But she gave birth months ago!"

"And I was punished for months on end."

"They took the ring from you?"

"They took everything from me."

"That's why her ring went dark."

"I suppose so. It was off of my body, and in a pocket dimension as well. I doubt she could feel anything through the ring." He was mildly surprised when she suddenly reached out and put a hand on his knee.

"I'm sorry," she said. "I'm so very sorry."

"There's nothing to be sorry about," he said coldly. "What has happened has happened. I plan to move forward. At least now I know what she was going through, and I know she isn't dead."

"You mentioned that you thought you killed her? How is that possible?"

"It was part of my punishment, you see. The Greater Beast was trying to separate the human from my soul and failed. So she ordered her underlings to sever my ties to humanity. I believe that they created a dream for me, and in that dream Lina attacked me, blaming me for the deaths of her friends. I tried to defend myself, but I was exhausted from the previous months of torture, and lost control. She impaled herself on the end of my staff and died in my arms, cursing and hating me with her last breath. Of course, I didn't know it was a dream until now."

Filia didn't respond, and so he glanced over at her. She was staring at him, blue eyes wide as tears rolled down her face. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry," she repeated.

Something pulled inside of him and he nodded. "There's nothing to be sorry about. I've told you that already. I now know the truth, and that she's safe. That's all that matters."

Filia nodded and they sat in silence for quite some time, each lost in their own thoughts. Xellos was rembering Lina smiling at him, her face relaxed as she slept, her fingers dancing down his bare chest as they sat together in the pond behind their cabin. "Do you think she ever loved me?" he asked softly.

Filia stirred and put her chin in her hand, not taking her eyes off of the flames in the hearth. "I don't know, Xellos. I don't know if she knew. I know she missed you, though, and with Lina that sometimes has to be enough."

"Monsters can't love," he murmured, and continued to stare into the fire until long after Filia had gone to bed.


	13. Chapter 13

A/N: Insert usual disclaimer stuff here. This is the sequel to Penance and Pursuit of Merit.

Again, I went back and chopped this fic up into chapters. If you want to read the thing straight through, with no chapter divisions, just head on over to my site, Because I chopped it up, some of the chapter transitions may be strange. Sorry about that.

Reviews are always welcome and encouraged!

* * *

Lina cried out as the ring that lay against her chest became extremely bright, filling the darkened room with light. Suddenly she was filled with Xellos, sharing his inner space. Relief washed over him as he saw she was all right, and regret filled him as well. Then, as suddenly as he had come, he vanished. She sat up in bed, clutching at the ring and panting.

Gourry dashed into the room and over to her, taking her by the shoulders and looking into her eyes. "Lina, are you okay?" he asked urgently.

She chuckled and leaned forward, planting a tender kiss on his forehead. "Of course I am," she lied. "Why wouldn't I be?"

Gourry frowned slightly and ran his fingers through her hair. "I saw a bright light. I thought something had happened."

She sighed and fell back on the pillows, still feeling abnormally warm from their recent lovemaking session. "No, nothing happened. I'm fine, really," she muttered. "Now go finish your bath. Your skin's all wet."

"You could come bathe with me," he suggested with a smile.

She smiled wanly in return but shook her head. "No, I'm okay. I'll just wait for you to get back. I'm pretty tired."

He stood and looked at her askance for a moment, but finally nodded and moved off. "Just call if you need me," he said, and was gone.

She threw an arm over her eyes and sighed, fighting back tears. Why did he have to come back after all this time? Lina hadn't been able to feel Xellos for months, and then to suddenly have all that thrown at her all at once. . . It wasn't fair. She loved Gourry now. The Monster had no business coming back into her life. She was happy and had a good home, even if she was bored quite a bit of the time. That didn't matter, though, because she was content. _But is content really enough, Lina dearest?_ she heard Xellos' voice echo through her mind, words of long ago. "Yes, Xellos, it is," she whispered to herself.


	14. Chapter 14

A/N: Insert usual disclaimer stuff here. This is the sequel to Penance and Pursuit of Merit.

Again, I went back and chopped this fic up into chapters. If you want to read the thing straight through, with no chapter divisions, just head on over to my site, Because I chopped it up, some of the chapter transitions may be strange. Sorry about that.

Reviews are always welcome and encouraged!

* * *

Xellos bowed briefly to Filia, then handed Lecia over for a quick embrace. "I appreciate your help and your hospitality these past few months," he said to the golden dragon. "Thank you, too, Val."

"You're welcome, Uncle Xellos," Val said, beaming up at the man.

"Uncle Xellos?" Filia said with a gasp.

Xellos smiled impishly, shifting Lecia on his hip. The baby looked around, amethyst eyes wide as she took in the world around her. Val waved at her and she smiled, making happy baby sounds. "Oh, he's been calling me that for a while now," Xellos explained nonchalantly.

Filia grunted in indignation. "Whatever," she mumbled. "You take care of that little girl, now, Xellos, or I swear I'll find a way to make you pay."

"Oh, I'll take splendid care of her. She's my little gemstone," he said sweetly. He really did want the best for his daughter, but she also represented several opportunities, one of which he intended to take advantage of immediately. He had felt Lina through the ring, and he thought it was time he paid her a visit. She shouldn't be allowed to get away with shunning their daughter, after all. Who knew, she might be able to even reach some sort of agreement with him, so long as it worked out to his gain.

"Good luck," Filia said with a wave of her hand. "If you need anything for her, let me know."

"I will," he called out to her, slowly rising into the air. When Filia was out of earshot he turned to his daughter and smiled. Lecia giggled back and stretched her arms out toward him. "Let's go visit mommy," he whispered gleefully, and the two of them disappeared from the physical plane.


	15. Chapter 15

A/N: Insert usual disclaimer stuff here. This is the sequel to Penance and Pursuit of Merit.

Again, I went back and chopped this fic up into chapters. If you want to read the thing straight through, with no chapter divisions, just head on over to my site, Because I chopped it up, some of the chapter transitions may be strange. Sorry about that.

Reviews are always welcome and encouraged!

* * *

"Come on, Gourry, we'll miss dinner!" Lina cried, waving at him from up the path.

He smiled and raised a hand in acknowledgement, remembering fondly how he had thought she was just a kid when he first saw her. Even now, years later, she still seemed like a kid sometimes. She got so excited over things, and he really liked that. Lina never lacked enthusiasm, and the things that were important to him, like a soft bed and good food, were important to her, too. Of course, she cared about a lot of things that he didn't put much stock in, like wealth and power, but that was okay. They didn't need to be exactly the same. He loved her with all his heart, and after all the years they had been together, he finally knew that she loved him, too. Living with her was like a dream for him, especially since he could afford the houskeeping staff and kitchen staff necessary to keep her happy. He loved sleeping next to her and waking up next to her, adored the feel of her body against his as he made love to her, relished the feeling of her lips against his. She was the only woman he had ever considered wanting, and he knew that he could live that way for the rest of his life. He couldn't express the joy that he had felt when she had returned to him, but it seemed as if a huge gap in his life had finally been filled. He usually didn't spend a lot of time thinking about stuff, but he thought about her and their relationship all the time, and he couldn't find a single thing he thought was wrong with it.

Whistling to himself, he wandered up the path, sword swinging at his hip. It had been a lovely day with Amelia and Zelgadis, even if Lina had been really weird about their baby. It had been the first time they'd seen the boy, but Lina hadn't wanted to have anything to do with him. He was really glad that he hadn't been pressuring her to have children. He knew she didn't want them and would never have them with him, and he had learned to accept that. If it meant that Lina would be in his life, he found he was willing to accept a lot of things.

Filled with joy, he smiled as he saw their house come into view. Lina had gone on ahead, and was standing a couple of hundred feet from the house like a statue in the middle of the road. Gourry frowned and picked up his pace a bit. Everything about Lina's posture was telling him that something was wrong. He wrapped his hand around the handle of his sword and advanced warily, but he couldn't see what was the matter. As he pulled even with her he realized she was staring at something, and he focused his attention in the same place. Someone was standing in their front yard, just inside of the gate, and was holding something small that squirmed from time to time. He scratched his head, knowing he recognized the person from somwhere, but not able to remember exactly where at the moment.

A split second later it came to him. "Hey, isn't that Xellos?" he said, putting his hands on his hips and turning to Lina.

Lina didn't answer and he moved around to see her face better, frowning when he saw her expression. Her skin had gone very white and her lips were pursed. One of her hands was curled tightly around the weird ring she wore at her neck.

Gourry sighed and scratched his head again, not understanding why she was acting so strangely. "Are you okay, Lina?" he asked, putting a heavy hand on her shoulder. He was surprised as she backed up into him, pressing her body against him as if asking him for protection. Gourry swallowed. He didn't know why Xellos had dropped by, or why Lina seemed so afraid of him. Lina had never been afraid of Xellos, and it seemed odd that she would start then.

"Hi, Xellos!" he called out, finally tired of the strange way the two were staring at one another. "How are you doing? We haven't seen you in a long time!"

Xellos stood as still as Lina, not replying or otherwise acknowledging Gourry's greetings. The thing in his arms shifted, though, and Gourry saw it was a baby.

"Hey, Lina," Gourry said. "Xellos has a baby with him! Let's go find out where he got it!" He took her hand and tried to move forward, but she wouldn't budge. He could probably pick her up and move her if he wanted to, but he wasn't certain he felt like getting blasted at that particular moment. Well, perhaps Xellos would be more personable. The fellow was never really rude, after all.

He left Lina standing in the road and made his way to the gate of his house, ready for anything. Gourry didn't know if Xellos had come to fight, but if he did, Gourry wasn't certain that even his new sword could withstand it. He didn't know how, but he could tell Xellos was very, very strong, almost as strong as that Hellmaster kid they had fought years ago. Hellmaster had almost killed Lina, had almost killed them all, and he wasn't going to let Xellos try the same thing. "Hello, Xellos," he said, walking up to the trickster priest. "It's a beautiful day."

Xellos glanced in his direction briefly. "Hello, Master Gourry. It is a perfect day," he replied, but his eyes were fixed upon nothing but Lina.

Gourry found he didn't really like the way the fellow was looking at Lina, but he knew Lina could take care of herself. "It's dry, though," Gourry continued, trying to be friendly. "We need rain."

"Oh, I'm sure there will be a storm any minute," Xellos replied crypically, still staring at Lina, who was standing in the same exact spot in the road.

Gourry looked up at the sky, which was perfect and plue. "But I don't see any clouds," Gourry said, shading his eyes.

"Just wait," Xellos said, his voice pitched so low Gourry had to strain to hear him.

"Lina, come talk with us!" Gourry cried, waving her over. "You're being rude!"

Xellos chuckled as Lina walked foward stiffy, every single angle of her body showin her reluctance. "Hello, Miss Lina," Xellos said, his expression strange as she came closer.

"Xellos," Lina hissed, face ashen.

"So this is where you've been," Xellos replied, looking around, occasionally shifting the baby on his hip. "It seems very-well appointed."

"And where have you been?" she snapped. "What do you think you're doing here?"

If it had been anybody but Xellos, Gourry would have sworn that her words stung. He thought for a moment that some awful feeling came over the priest, but he shrugged it off. Xellos didn't get upset over stuff like that. "I came to introduce you introduce someone to Gourry," Xellos replied, voice like silk.

Lina's eyes grew wide and her hands began to tremble. "No," she whispered. "Xellos, I'm happy here. Please just leave us alone."

"I just thought he should know. You see, I've turned over a new leaf, Miss Lina. No secrets, not anymore."

"Xellos!" Lina shouted, hands curling into fists.

Gourry scowled. He wasn't sure what was going on, or what Xellos was implying, but he did know that he was making Lina incredibly upset, and he couldn't allow it. What he couldn't understand, though, was why they were being so strange to one another. Why, Xellos had always been very nice to all of them, in his strange way and as much as he was allowed to be, and he had sometimes been a little envious of the attention Lina had shown the Monster. He had always thought there was a little something going on between them. Besides, Xellos had been weird in the past, especially during that whole fight with Deep Sea Dolphin's people, but that was years ago. "Xellos, I hope you'll excuse me for saying this, but I think you had better go. You're really upsetting Lina," he said.

"It was not my intention to upset her, Master Gourry," the Monster replied, still not taking his eyes from Lina. "I simply wanted to clear things up, that's all."

"Well, can we do this another time? I don't think Lina's in the mood."

"Gourry, shut up," Lina snapped. "Don't tell me what I feel like."

Gourry sighed. "I'm sorry," he mumbled. "I was just trying-"

"Get out of here," she growled at Xellos. "Get her out of here!"

"Miss Lina, I simply-" Xellos begain, but was interrupted by Lina, just as Gourry had been interrupted moments earlier.

"Damn you, I'm happy! I love Gourry, and I'm happy!" she screamed, and the little girl in Xellos' arms began to cry.

Xellos turned his attention to Gourry. "She loves you," he said flatly, eyes opening to reveal slitted pupils.

"I know. I love her, too. She's right, you know. We really have been very happy after she came back."

"Do you know where she was?"

"She wouldn't talk about it," Gourry said, then noticed that Xellos was wearing something around his neck. It was a ring, just like the one Lina wore. He was starting to feel very, very uncomfortable with the entire situation. "I didn't ask her, because it doesn't matter."

Xellos nodded, a humorless smile on his lips. "I see. Well, I'll just do what I came here to do and then I will be out of your hair," he said.

"Sounds good to me," Gourry said with a shrug.

"Don't listen to him, Gourry. Just make him leave!" Lina said angrily, but her face didn't seem angry, it seemed frightened.

"He'll be gone in a minute," Gourry replied. "Now what did you need, Xellos?"

Xellos looked down at the child at his hip, his face softening for a moment. Regardless of how strange he was acting, Gourry could tell that he really treasured the little girl. "This is Lecia," Xellos said, picking her up so Gourry could see her better.

"Wow, she's sure a pretty baby!" Gourry said, smiling as he tickled the girl's cheek. The baby giggled and squirmed, reaching out for Gourry's long, shiny hair. "Where did you get her?"

"Thank you for your compliment. I think she's beautiful, too," Xellos replied. "And she's my daughter. Don't you think she looks just like me?"

Gourry peered at the little girl. "You know, she really does! She's got your hair and eyes. You must be really proud!"

"Oh, I am very proud," Xellos said with a tender smile at the girl.

"Gourry, let's go inside. Xellos can bring the kid back some other time," Lina urged, putting her hands on his thick wrist and pulling.

"Hold on, Lina," he said, fascinated by the little girl. He loved babies, and this one was just adorable. He was considering asking Xellos if he could hold her when something occurred to him. "Hey, Xellos, I thought Monsters couldn't have kids."

"They can't," was the simple reply.

"Well, how can she be yours, then? I mean, she looks just like you, but . . ."

Xellos nodded, his customary benign smile on his face. "I can understand how you could be confused. Do you remember a couple of years ago when we fought Deep Sea Dolphin's minions?"

"Yeah."

"Well, I got in a lot of trouble for helping you all out, and my mistress punished me for it."

"Sorry to hear that."

"Thank you. At any rate, my penance was to be mortal. She turned me into a human and I lived like that for almost a year. That's when this child was conceived."

"Okay, I get it," Gourry said, cooing at the baby.

Lina tugged on Gourry's wrist more insistently. "Gourry, let's go inside NOW," she said, voice cracking. "Please!"

He frowned. Lina hardly ever said please, and she looked like she was going to cry. "Okay, okay," he said with a sigh. "I just have one more thing to ask."

"No," Lina said, pulling harder.

"Where's the mother? Did she die? Do we get to meet her?"

"Oh, yes," Xellos said, his smile widening. "Very, very soon."

"I'm really glad you found someone you could be with, Xellos," Gourry said sincerely. "It's a really wonderful feeling."

"I know," Xellos said, his voice sounding sad. Gourry didn't know that Monsters could be sad.

"Well, where-" Gourry began, but was cut short as Lina dashed past him. She looked distastefully at the child and threw herself against Xellos, balling her fists in the fabric of his cloak.

"Please, Xellos, don't do this," she pleaded, tears finally falling from her eyes. "Please! Don't you want me to be happy? Don't you care about me anymore?"

Xellos' cheerful expression cracked and he opened his eyes, looking down at her. He raised his free hand and stroked her hair tenderly. "You couldn't be with a Monster, I know that," he said softly. "But I didn't know what happened to you on the day she was born. Xellas punished me for months for that indiscretion."

"I'm sorry you got in trouble, but please don't take it out on us! It wasn't my fault she caught you!"

"Lina, dearest, I know, I know. She made me believe you were dead, though, and I had to find out the truth. I had to know what happened that day at Filia's, and when I finally arrived I found our daughter. Why didn't you tell me you were pregnant? Why didn't you call for me sooner?"

Gourry's eyes widened as it sunk in what they were talking about. He wasn't certain what was going on yet, but he had the distinct feeling he wouldn't like it. It made him very uncomfortable to see the familiarity with which Xellos was stroking Lina's hair.

"You were a Monster! Besides, I didn't want her, and I didn't know what happened to you. I thought it was for the best. If neither of us knew what happened to her we could live our normal, respective lives," Lina said.

Xellos shook his head, brow furrowed. "Lina, my life could never be what it was, not after you, not after being human. Xellas has released me from my duties for the time being, and I had to know the truth."

"But why, why did you have to bring her here? Are you trying to destroy my new life?" she sobbed, burying her face in his cloak.

"I didn't imagine our reunion would be like this," Xellos said softly. "I didn't come here to destroy your new life, dearest Lina. I just thought that Lecia should grow up knowing her mother."

"Lina, are you the mother of Xellos' child?" Gourry asked solemnly, feeling his heart grow brittle like thin crystal.

Lina turned a tear-streaked face towards him, then glanced at Xellos. Xellos closed his eyes and lowered his chin, saying nothing. "Yes, I am," she croaked, and broke down into heaving sobs.

Gourry felt his heart shatter into a million pieces and fall at his feet. The wind whipped across the lawn, blowing his hair into his face, but he didn't even notice. It was as if his entire body had gone numb. He just couldn't believe it. Lina, his darling Lina, wouldn't have his children, but would have Xellos' children. That wasn't even what bothered him, actually. What really hurt was the fact that she hid all of this from him. They had been together again for almost half a year, and not once would she answer his questions or give him a clue. She hadn't trusted him, that was what pained him. He thought love was supposed to be about trust. "Oh, Lina," he croaked, fighting back tears.

"I didn't come here to hurt you, Lina," Xellos said. "I came here to find out where things stood. But I see you haven't even trusted your stories with the man you love."

"Shut up! This is all your fault!" Lina screamed.

"We all are forced to reckoning with our actions sometime, Lina. This is your reckoning," Xellos said softly.

"No!"

"I'm not the one who hid my pregnancy from the father," Xellos stated calmly. "I am not the one who hid my past from my lover. You never told him that we lived together for nearly a year? That we were lovers?"

Gourry didn't think he could take it any more, tears rolling down his cheeks. "Oh, Lina," he moaned. "Why couldn't you tell me? Didn't you trust me?"

"It wasn't any of your business!" Lina shouted, pushing away from Xellos violently. "It was my past and it had nothing to do with you!"

"But you left me for Xellos!" Gourry said, spreading his hands and tasting the salt of his tears on his tongue.

"I did not! I left you because I felt like you were smothering me! I found Xellos on the road two weeks later, and we traveled for months before we became lovers!" she protested.

"So he's not lying," Gourry said, feeling as if he had been crushed flat against the earth. "Xellos is telling the truth."

"Lina, Lecia should know her mother, if only for a little while." Xellos said softly.

"Shut up, both of you!" Lina screamed, putting her hands to her head. "You'll never understand, ever!"

"Did you at least love him, Lina?" Gourry asked. "You still love me, don't you?"

"I could never love a Monster," Lina said, chest heaving with sobs.

Gourry glanced at Xellos, who looked oddly deflated. He was clutching his daughter tightly, and the little girl was starting to cry. "Lina," Xellos whispered, voice barely audible.

"Leave me alone!" Lina sobbed, turning and running into the house. Both men stared after her, struck dumb. A few moments later an upper-story window was thrown open and Lina took to the skies with a spell.

"Dammit," Gourry swore, wiping his eyes. He began to run after her, terror breaking over him. What if she didn't come back this time? Didn't she realize that he didn't care what had happened? That he loved her, no matter what? "Lina! Don't go!" he screamed, but he heard his voice die on the evening wind and knew she had not heard him. Hanging his head, he turned and trudged back to the house, which seemed to loom in front of him, dark and empty like a curse.

"She's run off again," he heard someone say, and he looked over at Xellos. He hadn't realized the man was still standing there. "I wonder if she'll ever realize it's herself she's running from."

Gourry heard the truth and shook his head. "I don't know and I don't care. I love her no matter what."

"You're lucky you have the luxury of meaning that," Xellos said, voice brittle, and Gourry turned around in confusion.

"What?" he asked, scowling.

"You're a human and always will be. You can say you will always love her and mean it."

"You were a human," Gourry said, examining Xellos for the first time. Something wasn't quite right about the Monster. He seemed off-balance somehow, as if he had cracked. He wondered if Xellos was still sane. He knew that if he had been yanked around like Xellos had, he certainly wouldn't be sane.

"I'm a Monster, now," Xellos said, fixing him with a hard stare.

Gourry shivered at the tone of Xellos' voice, wondering for the first time if he were in danger. "Did you come here to take her back?" he asked, slowly working his hand nearer to his sword.

"Lina cannot be 'taken'. She has to give herself freely," Xellos replied.

"Then why did you come here, really?" Gourry growled, getting ready to defend himself.

"I came to see where things stood," Xellos replied simply. "If I could get her back I would, but there are obstacles in the way." He took a step toward Gourry and the swordsman instinctively fell back, the hairs on his neck standing on end.

"I guess I'm one of those obstacles," Gourry said.

"Absolutely," Xellos said coldly, eyes narrowing. "And I would love nothing more than to destroy you right here and now. Nothing would taste sweeter to me than your fear as I ripped apart your very soul, no music more beautiful to me than your screams of pain." He moved so close to Gourry that they were almost touching, and Gourry felt sweat roll down his temple.

"I dare you to try it," Gourry said gruffly. "I might not have the Sword of Light, but I have a new weapon that packs quite a punch."

"Yes, I noticed that you now carry Scundabran," Xellos said softly. "But even that weapon would be nothing more than an annoyance to someone like me."

"We'll see, won't we?" Gourry growled, his sense of danger growing stronger by the second.

"No, we won't," Xellos replied, "because no matter how I itch to rid myself of the problem you pose, Lina would never forgive me for it. Never again would the remote possibility exist of her returning to me, and that's a risk I am not willing to take."

"There could always be an 'accident'," Gourry breathed, feeling trapped.

"You underestimate Lina," Xellos said. "She would know immediately. You might admire her and love her, but you do not understand her."

"And you do?"

"Yes," Xellos said, taking a step back and hoisting the baby up higher against his body. "I do understand her. You are fortunate that I'm not a human, Master Gourry, for if I were, she could not choose between us. What she and I shared during that year will never be matched, and because of that she would not be able to make a decision. I understand what that is like. If my mistress offered me humanity once again, I do not know if I could make the choice. Once you're immortal it is very hard to cope with dying with each passing day, and the loss of power and ability seems crippling. But I would give much to be able to feel love for my daughter and her mother, I would give much."

"It would be easy for me to choose," Gourry blurted.

Xellos shrugged, his gaze as cold as winter. "That's because you've never been anything else," he replied simply. "You have no basis for comparison."

"She will have to make a choice," Gourry said, moving his hand away from his sword.

"She won't choose me," Xellos murmured. "Nor will she choose Lecia. She abandoned Lecia forever. As long as Lina has you, Lecia will never have a mother."

Gourry's body became rigid as Xellos' words sank in. He felt joy at knowing that Lina would choose him, but then he saw Xellos kiss the top of Lecia's head. The baby giggled and grasped at the loose ends of Xellos' dark hair as he smiled down at her. Gourry sighed. Lecia really was a beautiful baby, and even if she wasn't his, he wouldn't mind raising her at all. He believed that fatherhood came from the heart and not from the blood, anyway. "If you leave her here, I'll raise her as my own," Gourry said solemnly.

Xellos snorted, the sound almost like a laugh. "Would you give your child up, Master Gourry? If the situations were reversed, would you really give your baby to me to raise, especially if that child was all you had left of your time with her mother?"

Gourry cleared his throat and scratched his head, looking at the dust of the path at his feet. "Well, no," he mumbled. "I'm just trying to help."

"There's nothing you can do, mortal," Xellos said coldly, meeting Gourry's eyes.

"She means everything to me," Gourry replied. "I'll do whatever it takes to set things right."

Xellos raised an eyebrow and shifted his daughter in his arms. "Right for whom?"

Gourry blinked and stood, silent. He studied Xellos' face carefully, catching a glimpse of the man's angular amethyst irises and slitted pupils before his eyes slid shut once again. The baby gurgled and wrapped her fists in the soft fabric of Xellos' cloak for a moment before grasping at the ring around Xellos' neck. "What's that?" Gourry asked with a gesture.

Xellos gently plucked the ring from his daughter's grasp and examined it. "I ensorcelled these rings so that Lina could call me whenever she likes. All I have to do is touch this ring to know where she is, what's she's doing, and what she's feeling. She merely has to think of me and I will be there at her side."

Gourry nodded. The ring was exactly like the one Lina wore around her neck, the one she would never take off. That ring meant a lot to her, regardless of what she said. If the ring meant so much to her, Xellos must have as well. For a fleeting moment he wondered what Lina would have done if Xellos had stayed human, then the thought was gone. "What do we do now?"

"I don't care what you do," Xellos said smoothly, letting his daughter once again grasp at the ring. "I intend to go about my business until Lina returns. I will return shortly before she arrives here in order to give you notice of her coming."

"That sounds fair."

Xellos raised a hand and held his daughter close, then the two were gone from sight. Gourry stood and looked at the place in the grass where they had stood. Lina's daughter was a beautiful little girl. She was a darling child that deserved to have a mother, but if Lina stayed with him, the two would always be separated. He wasn't certain that was right, especially when something could be done about it. He needed to decide who needed Lina more, he or the baby. A great sigh left him and tears formed in his eyes. He loved Lina with all his heart and soul. She was his life, and he didn't know what he would do without her.


	16. Chapter 16

A/N: Insert usual disclaimer stuff here. This is the sequel to Penance and Pursuit of Merit.

Again, I went back and chopped this fic up into chapters. If you want to read the thing straight through, with no chapter divisions, just head on over to my site, vejiitasei.com. Because I chopped it up, some of the chapter transitions may be strange. Sorry about that.

Reviews are always welcome and encouraged! 

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Lecia immediately started to wail upon rematerialization in his extensive chambers. He set her down on her changing table and deftly removed her diaper, just as Filia had shown him. Discarding his cloak on a nearby chair, he quickly cleaned her, and in a few moments the child was smiling once again. He picked her up and cradled her in his arms, rocking her this way and that as he sat down on the satin coverlet of the bed. The girl giggled and swatted at his hair, and he set her down on the thick comforter, picking up a ribbon from somewhere and dangling it above her face. Lecia squealed and tried to grab it, and the child's laughter was so infectious that soon he was laughing as well. For a strange moment it felt as if he was human again, as if he could once more feel emotion. A genuine smile graced his face and he cooed at his human daughter, laughing when she tried to imitate his sounds. You're a little wonder, he whispered to her. I don't see how anyone could not be amazed by you.  


I agree, a voice said behind him, and he turned to see the only being allowed in his chambers without his permission.  


he said, moving to stand.  


Xellas replied, leaning over the bed and picking up the baby. She truly is a beautiful child, for a mortal.  


Thank you.  


And what of the mother? The infamous Lina Inverse?  


Xellos felt something inside him slide and shatter. I do not know, Mistress.  


Xellas sighed and ran her long, tan fingers through the baby's silky hair. Lecia giggled and tried to catch the bracelets jangling at the Greater Beast's wrists, and Xellas smiled just a tiny bit. Why don't you just go claim her and bring her back here?  


It's not that easy, I'm afraid.  


Why not? You already marked her body with yours. Your child grew within her body, and you will forever be joined in this child.  


She would not come willingly.  


Why would she need to be willing? Xellas asked, turning to him.  


Xellos looked at her coldly, letting her see the full force of his frigid amethyst stare. She needs to be willing, was all he would say.  


Xellas bounced the child gently. As you wish. I will not meddle in this affair of yours. It is, honestly, beyond the scope of my experience.  


Xellos didn't trust her as far as he could throw her, but he had no idea what she might be up to. The Xellas he was familiar with would have had Lina killed immediately. I apologize.  


No need. You may utilize any of the minions or underlings for whatever tasks necessary to build a comfortable home for this mortal child.  


  


Xellas gently laid Lecia back on the coverlet, where the baby began to kick and squirm, face turning red. Take care of this girl, Xellos. She is probably the only thing you will ever have that is truly yours.  


Xellos knelt, placing his knuckles against the floor. Thank you, Mistress.  


Xellas smiled, the expression anything but reassuring, and nodded. You will be back on assignment soon. I suggest you find a way to bring the mother here before the end of the season.  


I will, he replied, and when he raised his head, his mistress was gone.


	17. Chapter 17

A/N: Insert usual disclaimer stuff here. This is the sequel to Penance and Pursuit of Merit.

Again, I went back and chopped this fic up into chapters. If you want to read the thing straight through, with no chapter divisions, just head on over to my site, vejiitasei.com. Because I chopped it up, some of the chapter transitions may be strange. Sorry about that.

Reviews are always welcome and encouraged! 

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Gourry sat by the fire in one of the overstuffed chairs, chin in his hand. Ever since Lina had left him the first time he had grown more accustomed to mulling things over, and this was one of the occasions on which he found it necessary to think things out. He knew that he had to do the right thing. It was the only way things could work out for that little girl, and Gourry thought that she was the most important person in the whole awful mess. Who knew how things would end up, anyway. Still, his heart was racing with nerves. Lina had been gone for two weeks, and he hadn't heard a peep out of Xellos. It was very difficult to not know if his love would ever come back to him.  


She's on her way, a smooth voice said out of the shadows, and Gourry turned to see an unearthly glinting of eyes.  


  


I imagine she'll be here within the next five minutes, was all the Monster would reply.  


Gourry sighed and stood, facing the other man. Did you love her?  


Monsters cannot love.  


I mean, when you were human.  


I don't know. I don't know what love is. Perhaps I did.  


Would you have taken care of her and protected her for the rest of her days, even from herself?  


Of course I would have. Things were different once I became human.  


Gourry took a deep breath and forced himself not to close his eyes. He knew what had to be done. He knew what the right thing to do was. Would you still?  


Xellos frowned slightly. She is the mother of my child. What do you think?  


Let's go meet Lina, Gourry said quickly, walking hastily out the front door and into the night, his heart pounding inside his chest. He heard Xellos' boots striking the stones behind him, and soon they stood in the path, watching the hills beneath the moon. Gourry said, seeing a small figure appear in the road some distance away, but when he turned to address Xellos directly, the man was nowhere to be seen.  


It must have only been a few minutes, but to Gourry it seemed like an eternity, watching her walk down the lane. When she was a few hundred feet away she broke into a run, flinging herself into his arms and burying her head against his chest. she breathed, and he crushed her to him, mashing his lips to the crown of her head.  


I'm so happy you're all right, he murmured into her hair.  


I'll never leave you again, she whispered. I love you and I want to be with you.  


I know, he said, voice thick with tears. It seemed to him that his whole body trembled. Xellos? Are you there?  


the Monster replied, and stepped out of the shadows.


	18. Chapter 18

A/N: Insert usual disclaimer stuff here. This is the sequel to Penance and Pursuit of Merit.

Again, I went back and chopped this fic up into chapters. If you want to read the thing straight through, with no chapter divisions, just head on over to my site, vejiitasei.com. Because I chopped it up, some of the chapter transitions may be strange. Sorry about that.

Reviews are always welcome and encouraged! 

****************************************************

Something inside him twisted when he saw Lina throw herself into the swordsman's arms, but he pushed it away violently, preferring instead to see how things played out. He was startled, however, when the swordsman actually called him forward. he said, revealing himself. It bothered him a tad that the big blonde seemed to have a better idea of where he was than most people did. Maybe the man had some elf in him- that would explain his uncanny instincts and the fact that he possessed Scundabran.  


He watched as Gourry leaned down to kiss Lina on the mouth, both their eyes closing as they leaned into one another. Then Gourry took her hand and led her over to Xellos. I've been doing a lot of thinking, Gourry said softly, tears forming in his eyes. And I can't do this.  


Do what? Lina asked, voice a bit unsteady. Xellos could see that she had Gourry's large hand in a sort of deathgrip.  


Gourry looked at Lina and smoothed her hair out of her face. You have a little girl, Lina, he murmured. I don't think I could ever live with myself if I took you away from her. It's not right that you live with me if it means your daughter will grow up without a mother.  


But I never wanted to be a mother! Lina protested, taking his hand in both of hers.  


I know, but you are. That changes things. Sometimes you just have to do what's right, even if it kills you inside, the blonde man replied, tears rolling freely down his face.  


Xellos was a bit startled when Gourry suddenly turned towards him and shoved Lina into his arms. His locked her in his embrace so tightly it was as if the action was done against his will, and he looked at the swordsman in surprise. What. . .  


Take care of her, Xellos, and be a family. Lina and that baby are the best things that will ever happen to you. If you take them for granted or hurt either of them in any way, I don't care if I am just a mortal, I will find a way to make you pay, Gourry said gruffly.  


Lina breathed, eyes wide and her knuckles white where she gripped Xellos' arm.  


Gourry smiled through his tears and put his hand on her head. Goodbye, Lina. Do your best with your new family.  


Lina choked, straining against Xellos' arms.  


Don't you ever let her go, Gourry said, leveling his blue-eyed gaze at Xellos.  


Gourry, I love you! Lina cried, struggling.  


Gourry wiped his eyes with the back of his forearm. I love you, too, Lina. I always will, no matter what.  


Then don't leave me!  


I have to. Others need you more than I do, he said, and turned away.  


Lina screamed, starting to cry.  


Take care, Gourry said over his shoulder, and walked into the house. Xellos could hear the latch slide shut from the inside.  


Lina screeched, voice breaking.  


Xellos pursed his lips and held Lina fast as she struggled against him, trying to free herself. He couldn't believe that Gourry had done what he had just done. It was like a dream and a nightmare rolled up into one. There was one thing that was certain: Gourry did not intend to take Lina back, and no amount of her struggling would change that. Xellos recognized the steel in the other man's eyes, and there was no going back. he murmured, trying to calm her.  


No, leave me alone! I want my Gourry! she sobbed, her struggling becoming a bit weaker.  


He is no longer an option for you, he said as gently as he could. He has made a decision.  


she moaned, and he could feel her heart crumble even as he held her slender body in his arms. Her aching was almost tangible, even to one such as him.  


I am sorry, dearest Lina. I do not want to cause you pain, Xellos said, and touched his fingertips to the back of her neck.   


Lina screamed and convulsed, then went limp in his grasp. Xellos picked her up in his arms like a child and looked down into her face. Closing his eyes, he pressed his lips against her forehead and exhaled slowly. It was done and there was nothing that could be undone. Only the future, only a new chance, remained.  


Lecia, I'm bringing home your mother, he whispered into the night, shifting the slight body of the woman in his arms. He looked down at her one last time, then they both vanished into the night, without so much as the slightest breeze to mark their passage, with nothing to show that they had ever been there at all.


End file.
